Jeopardy
by Ailsa
Summary: The Harry Potter characters play on Jeopardy. Instead of Alex, the host is Dumbledore. Very funny. Questions are VERY, VERY, original. Chapter 16 up! Finished! Finale! The end! After this I am going to high school and care more about my social life!!!!
1. Snape's Personal Life and Other Categori...

Disclaimer: I do not own the HP characters. I do not own this game.  
  
Albus Dumbledore: Good evening. Today, on Jeopardy, we have Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, and our returning champion, Hermione Granger. Let each person tell about themselves. Ron?  
  
Ron: Hello, my name is Ron Weasley and I am 15 years old. I live in a family of 5 brothers and one sister.  
  
Dumbledore: I see. Now, Harry Potter, I have heard that you are famous. Can you tell me about this?  
  
Harry: Aw, it was nothing. Some evil dude was after me, and you won't tell me why when I asked you in my first year, and they killed my dad. My mother ran with me, but she couldn't Apparate because I was just a baby, so she gave her life up for me. This created a magical spell that made a curse rebound on Voldemort. He couldn't die because he transfigured himself a couple of times to make himself immortal so he ran away, and then now he is alive and after me again after Ron's pet rat set him free.  
  
Ron: That evil Scabbers.  
  
Dumbledore: What about you, Hermione? You are our returning champion. I can tell you have won, er- 25 games!  
  
Hermione: That's right. I was very happy about my winning streak.  
  
Dumbledore: Tell me about yourself.  
  
Hermione: I am a Muggle-Born, and in my 2nd year I stole plants from Professor Snape's office. In my 4th year, I had been going steady with Victor Krum, the Bulgarian Seeker. I have just recently gotten 68 N.E.W.T.'s.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, all right. Now our category's for today are Famous Quotes, Who Was Evil, Predict-The-Future, and Snape's Personal Life.  
  
Snape: Hey!  
  
Dumbledore: Hermione, why don't we start with you?  
  
Hermione: I'll take Famous Quotes for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: 'I will not tolerate abnormalty in my house!'  
  
Harry: Who is Uncle Veron?  
  
Dumbledore: Veron Dursley, that's correct!  
  
Hermione: No fair, the rest of us didn't hear that.  
  
Harry: I'll take Famous Quotes for 250, please.  
  
Dumbledore: 'It-It was cat hair! Milliscent Bulstrode had a cat!'  
  
Hermione: Who was Hermione?  
  
Ron: No fair, she got her own quote.  
  
Dumbledore: That's correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take Famous Quotes for 300 please.  
  
Dumbledore: 'Would you care for a lemon sherbert?' (Lemon drop in American version)  
  
Hermione: Who are you?  
  
Dumbledore: That is correct.  
  
Harry: How did she know that?  
  
Ron: I don't know.  
  
Hermione: I'll take Famous Quotes for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: And the answer is, Daily Double!  
  
Hermione: I'll wager 550.  
  
Dumbledore: All right, you will risk it all. 'Chicken!'  
  
Hermione: Who is…. pause  
  
Dumbledore: Yes?  
  
Hermione: Who is Sirius Black?  
  
Dumbledore: That's correct!  
  
Sirius: I don't remember saying that.  
  
Harry: You were starving in that cave.  
  
Sirius: What? Oh yeah!  
  
Hermione: I'll take Famous Quotes for 500  
  
Dumbledore: 'Funny? He wouldn't know funny if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy!'  
  
Ron: Who is Ron Weasley!  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Ron: I'll take 'Famous Quotes for 750.  
  
Dumbledore: 'Best two out of three. I haven't been helping Black into the castle, and I certainly don't want Harry killed, but I won't deny that I am a werewolf.'  
  
Audience: gasp  
  
Harry: Who is Professor Lupin?  
  
Dumbledore: That's right.  
  
Lupin: Hey! You had no permission to say that!  
  
Harry: I'll take Famous Quotes for 1000 please.  
  
Dumbledore: 'Don't forget pimply'  
  
Ron: Who is Peeves?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Buzzer sounds.  
  
Dumbledore: All right, that's time. Ron is in the lead with 1500 points, followed by Hermione with 1100, being tagged along by Harry with 950.  
  
Commercial starts  
  
Commercial ends  
  
Dumbledore: Now we're back. Ron, you start first.  
  
Ron: I'll take Snape's Personal Life for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Snape has this burned into his left arm.  
  
Snape: Oh, no….  
  
Harry: What is a Dark Mark?  
  
Audience: gasp  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Harry: I'll take Snape's Personal Life for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Snape wears this under his robes. Hermione?  
  
Hermione: What is nothing?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Snape: Kill me…  
  
Hermione: I'll take Snape's Personal life for 500.  
  
Dumbledore: Snape has a crush on this person.  
  
Snape: Oh, no.  
  
Harry: Who is Professor McGonagall?  
  
Dumbledore: Nope.  
  
Hermione: Who is Professor Sprout?  
  
Dumbledore: Nope.  
  
Ron: Who is Professor Sinistra?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Harry: Who is Professor Vector?  
  
Dumbledore: Nu-uh.  
  
Hermione: Who is Professor Flitwick?  
  
Dumbledore: Keep it rated G, people.  
  
Ron: Who is Madame Pomfrey?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Hermione: Who was Madame Hooch?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
silence  
  
Dumbledore: The correct answer was, who was Lily Potter.  
  
Harry: Why you nasty greasy git! I'll kill you!  
  
Dumbledore: Keep it rated G. Ron?  
  
Ron: I'll take Snape's Personal Life for 750, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This is Snape's favorite color.  
  
Hermione: What is black?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take Snape's Personal Life for 1000, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Snape does this every Tuesday night.  
  
Snape: Oh boy.  
  
Harry: Pay Myrtle to go to the Prefect's bathroom and see who is in there?  
  
Hermione and Ron look at him.  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: How did you know that?  
  
Harry: Er… Lucky guess?  
  
Ron: Right…  
  
Harry: I'll take Snape's Personal Life for 1200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Snape sings this song in the shower.  
  
Harry: Singing in the Rain?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Hermione: Barbie Girl?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Ron: Trick question. Snape never took a shower.  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Snape: How did you know?  
  
Dumbledore: Myrtle told me.  
  
Ron: I'll take Snape's Personal Life for 1600.  
  
Dumbledore: James Potter and his friends called Snape this when they went to school.  
  
Hermione: What is a greasy git?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Buzzer sounds.  
  
Dumbledore: We will be back after this commercial break. Hermione is in the lead with 3100 points, Ron with 1700, and Harry with 1150. (remember, they lose points whenever they get a question wrong, and Harry was determined to guess Snape's crush and lost a lot of points)  
  
***********  
  
Did you like it? Tell me what you liked, and I'll add more like that. 


	2. Who Was Evil, Information on Teachers, a...

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Dumbledore: Now, it is time for round two. Our new categories are Who Was Evil, Peeping Tom, and Information on Teachers.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, back to the game. Hermione is in the lead with 3100 points, Ron with 1700, and Harry behind with 1150. Harry, we'll start with you.  
  
Harry: I'll take Peeping Tom for 100, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This ghost spies on prefects when they bathe.  
  
Harry: Who is Myrtle?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Harry: I'll take Peeping Tom for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This woman is an animagus beetle.  
  
Hermione: Who is Rita Skeeter?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take Peeping Tom for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Moody has this in his office.  
  
Harry: What is a Spy Glass?  
  
Dumbledore: That is correct.  
  
Harry: I'll take Peeping Tom for 600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This person gave Harry a Sneakoscope for his 14th birthday.  
  
Ron: Me?  
  
Dumbledore: That is correct.  
  
Ron: I'll take Peeping Tom for 800 please.  
  
Dumbledore: Harry uses this to spy on people.  
  
Hermione: What is an Invisibility Cloak?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Harry: What is the Marauder's Map?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: You never told me about the Marauder's Map!  
  
Harry: Er- I…Um….Well, I'll take Peeping Tom for 1000, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Bartemius Crouch stole this to be able to spy on people.  
  
Ron: What is a magical eye?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Ron: I'll take Teachers for 100, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This teacher posts advertisements of how Trelawney is a fraud.  
  
Harry: Who is Professor McGonagall?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Hermione: Who is Professor Snape?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take Teachers for 300, please.  
  
Dumbledore: And the answer is: Daily Double!  
  
Audience: clap clap  
  
Hermione: I'll wager…1000.  
  
Dumbledore: This teacher is commonly mistaken for a man, though it says that she is not in the book 'Prisoner of Azkaban' pg. 244.  
  
Contestants: What?  
  
Dumbledore: I mean, Harry Potter's third year, the day Ron grew suspicious of Hermione's Time-Turner.  
  
Contestants: Oh.  
  
Hermione: Who is…Professor Vector?  
  
Dumbledore: That is correct!  
  
Hermione: Whew! I'll take Teachers for 500, please.  
  
Dumbledore: In fanfics, this teacher is always paired up in a love story with Hermione. Most of the time, it is rated NC-17.  
  
Hermione: Yuck!  
  
silence  
  
Dumbledore: The correct answer was: Who is Snape.  
  
Harry: scream  
  
Ron: scream  
  
Hermione: scream  
  
Snape: faints  
  
Hermione: Unclean! Unclean!  
  
Ron: My poor ears!  
  
Harry: I think I'm gonna be sick!  
  
Hermione: I AM going to be sick!  
  
Snape: still unconscious  
  
Dumbledore: Er, next question.  
  
Ron: I'll take Teachers for 700, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This teacher substituted Care For Magical Teachers in your fourth year.  
  
Ron: Who was Professor Grubbly-Plank?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Ron: I'll take Teachers for 800, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This teacher taught Transfiguration over 50 years ago. 30 years ago, he became Headmaster.  
  
Harry: You?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Harry: I'll take Teachers for 1000, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This teacher was in Hufflepuff, and now a Head of House, but not their own.  
  
Ron: Who is Professor Sprout?  
  
Dumbledore: No, not their own House.  
  
Hermione: Who is Professor Flitwick?  
  
Dumbledore: Nope.  
  
silence  
  
Dumbledore: The correct answer was: Who was Snape.  
  
Harry, Hermione and Ron: Ha!  
  
Snape: You ruined me!  
  
Harry: So that's why you betrayed Voldemort! Hufflepuffs don't do that!  
  
Snape: Shhhhhh! People aren't supposed to know! Voldemort is after me already!  
  
Hermione: I'll take Who Was Evil for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Unscramble these letters: Tom Marvalo Riddle.  
  
Ron: I am You-Know-Who.  
  
Dumbledore: Incorrect. As you can tell, the letter W is not used at all.  
  
Harry: I am Lord Voldemort.  
  
Dumbledore: You are? Stupefy!  
  
Harry freezes.  
  
Dumbledore: I got him! I got him! Now I'll wait for the Polyjuice to wear off…  
  
Hermione: Uh, Professor?  
  
Dumbledore: Yes?  
  
Hermione: That was the answer to the question.  
  
Dumbledore: Oh. Oh! Of course! Oops!  
  
Dumbledore does another spell, and Harry wakes up.  
  
Dumbledore: Good thing, I was about to do Avada Kedavra.  
  
Harry: glare  
  
Ron: But I got it right! You-Know-Who is You-Know-Who!  
  
Everyone: Duh!  
  
Ron: I- I mean, Vol- I can't say it! Never mind.  
  
Harry: I'll take Who Was Evil for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This couple is in Azkaban still now. They were originally Death- Eaters and went to Azkaban loyal. Voldemort is going to rescue them any time, and make the Dementors their allies. Unfortunately, Fudge told me to stay out of this, so I can't do anything.  
  
Hermione: Who are the Lestranges?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take-  
  
bell rings  
  
Dumbledore: Looks like we're out of time. Harry is now in the lead with 3550 points, Hermione and Ron are tied with 3000. Don't change that Muggle device of yours, we'll be right back on Jeopardy.  
  
Commercial starts 


	3. Muggles, Spells, and Surprise Endings

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or Jeopardy.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, we are back on Jeopardy again. Right now, Harry is now in the lead with 3550 points, Hermione and Ron are tied with 3000. Our categories for today are Surprise Ending, Muggles, and Spells You Use During Times of Danger. We'll start with Ron first.  
  
Ron: I'll take Spells for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: What spell do you use for flowers to shoot out of your wand?  
  
Harry: What is Orchidous?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Ron and Hermione look at him.  
  
Harry: Mr. Olivander did that to Fleur's wand to test it.  
  
Ron and Hermione: Ahhhhh.  
  
Harry: I'll take Spells for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This spell is used as a banishing charm. It is personally Snape's favorite.  
  
Hermione: What is Expelliarmus.  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take Spells for 400.  
  
Dumbledore: This is Harry's personal favorite curse.  
  
Harry: What is Funninculus?  
  
Dumbledore: That is correct.  
  
Harry: Spells for 500, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This spell is used by Fred and George Weasley onto their Ton- tongue toffees.  
  
Ron: What is the Engorgement charm?  
  
Dumbledore: What is the actual spell?  
  
Ron: Engorgio?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Ron: I'll take spells for 600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This spell is used in the dark, it is awfully good for spying on people.  
  
Hermione: What is Lumos?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take spells for 800, please.  
  
Dumbledore: The Ministry of Magic uses this spell quite a lot.  
  
Ron: What is Stupefy?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Harry: What is Oblivate?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Harry: Ha! Your father works at the Ministry and you don't know. I'll take Spells for 1000, please.  
  
Dumbledore: In Hogwarts, A History, Rowena Ravenclaw uses-  
  
Hermione: What is Miragus?  
  
Dumbledore: Er, correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take Muggles for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This Muggle-artifact is like an electronic stair.  
  
Ron: What is an eslakator?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Harry: What is an escalator?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Harry: I'll take Muggles for 300, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This Muggle sweet is my favorite candy.  
  
Hermione: What is a lemon sherbert?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take Muggle for 500, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This Muggle singer has recently starred in the Movie 'A Walk to Remember.'  
  
Ron: Who is Sorceress Celicia Stone?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Ron: That's it, I'm not answering any more Muggle questions.  
  
Hermione: Who is Mandy Moore?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take Muggles for 600.  
  
Dumbledore: In a Muggle show, The Simpsons, what is the last name of Apu?  
  
Harry: What is Nahasapatapeemepetilan?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Harry: I'll take Muggles for 800.  
  
Dumbledore: This Muggle actor starred Malcohm in the Middle. He is considered very famous, and is known for his baby-face.  
  
Hermione: Who is Frankie Muniz?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take Muggles for 1100.  
  
Dumbledore: This Muggle claimed she was a psychic on a hotline, reading so- called tarot cards, and is now facing a large fine.  
  
Ron: Sounds like Trelawney.  
  
Harry: Who is Miss Cleo?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Harry: I'll take Muggles for 1300, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This Muggle is being hated most in the entire world. On September 11, 2001, this man released a terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in America.  
  
Ron: Who is Osama Bin Laden?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione and Harry stare at him.  
  
Ron: They mentioned that at the Ministry of Magic. One of Dad's co-workers had a sister who died there.  
  
Harry and Hermione: Oh.  
  
Ron: I'll take Muggles for 1600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This Muggle item is considered "magical," but it is merely a black ball that uses water to make an answer float.  
  
Hermione: What is a Magic 8-ball?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Hermione: I'll take…Surprise Ending for 300, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This person was highly suspected of trying to get his hands on the Sorceror's Stone, but it turned out to be Professor Quirrel.  
  
Ron: Who was Snape?  
  
Dumbledore: Professor Snape, correct.  
  
Ron: I'll take Surprise Ending for 500.  
  
Dumbledore: This pet was highly suspected of being good, but it turns out he was evil.  
  
Ron: Who was Scabbers?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Ron: Surprise Ending for 750, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This animal was suspected of being evil, but it turns out he was anigamus, and good.  
  
Harry: Who was er- Snuffles?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Harry: I'll take Surprise Ending for 1000, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This person was found out to be impersonating "Mad-Eye" Moody.  
  
Harry: Who is Bartemius Crouch?  
  
Dumbledore: That is incorrect.  
  
Hermione: Who is Bartemius Crouch jr.?"  
  
Dumbledore: Correct. Now, we add the total points up. Hermione now is in the lead with a whopping 9,000 points. Harry follows with 6,600, and Ron is at the back with 3,900.  
  
Ron: Lousy questions on Muggles.  
  
Dumbledore: Now, it is time for our final question. Shall you risk all, or become the winner for today?  
  
Harry, Hermione, and Ron take their pencils out.  
  
Dumbledore: The question for today is; Who will die in book 7? You have 30 seconds to answer.  
  
Jeopardy song starts playing  
  
Ding ding ding ding ding ding dong, ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dong, Di-di-doo-doo-doo-di- doo. Wow, it took forever to write that, I actually have it to the real beats to the song  
  
Dumbledore: All right, times up!  
  
****************  
  
Cliffhanger! Yay! I predict the next chapter is very short. 


	4. The End! Vote on who you want to play on...

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.  
  
  
  
Note: The people are who I believe will die, but I put it in forms of 3 people.  
  
Dumbledore: All right, let's review this. So far, Hermione has 9000 galleons, Harry with 6600, and Ron with 3900. Our question was 'Who will die in your 7th year,' and these are the final answers. We'll start with Ron. Ron, for your answer you put-  
  
Ron flips paper over. It reads: Severus Snape  
  
Snape in audience: Hey! Why did you pick me?  
  
Dumbledore: Before we tell you whether or not this is right, why don't you tell us why you think it is Snape?  
  
Ron: Well, for one thing, everybody thinks Snape is evil. It must be him. I mean, even if he is good, I still hope he dies.  
  
Dumbledore: You do know he is a Death Eater?  
  
Ron: Yes, Harry told me.  
  
Dumbledore: Harry, I told you to keep it a secret!  
  
Harry: Er, oops?  
  
Dumbledore: Never mind that. Ron, I'll have to say your answer was incorrect. For one thing, Rowling would not take away a character so many teenage girls and women love.  
  
Girl in audience: You bet so!  
  
Dumbledore: Well yes, and how much did you wager?  
  
Ron flips paper over: 3900  
  
Audience: Awwwww.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, looks like you wagered all of it. Now, Harry, you next. And you put..?  
  
Harry flips paper over: Colin Creevey  
  
Colin: Why? sobs and runs out from audience  
  
Dumbledore: Why did you put Colin, Harry?  
  
Harry: The thing is, Colin is VERY annoying, and he always follows me around. I think that he'll walk somewhere and get into trouble.  
  
Dumbledore: Dobby follows you around and worships you, do you think he'd die?  
  
Harry: No, he is caring over Winky. She cries all the time, and he'll have to make her feel better before he visits me again.  
  
Dumbledore: I see, but you answer is incorrect, too.  
  
Audience: Awwwwwww.  
  
Dumbledore: And you wagered…?  
  
Harry flips paper over: 6599  
  
Dumbledore: Well, Harry. That leaves you with 1 galleon. I still can't believe it. The answer is so obvious, and none of you put it. I hope Hermione got it correct. Hermione, who did you put?  
  
Hermione flips paper over: Voldemort  
  
Dumbledore: Hermione, why do you believe Voldemort will die in your 7th year?  
  
Hermione: Well, most stories have a happy ending, and Voldemort may die for that to be true.  
  
Dumbledore: scoff Did you even remember your fourth year?  
  
Hermione: Yes, but still, this is like the end.  
  
Dumbledore: Why do you think Voldemort might not die in your 6th year, or after you grow up, or what?  
  
Hermione: I don't know, I just have a feeling it is Voldemort. That is what people like.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, Hermione, unfortunately, you are correct.  
  
Hermione: Yes! Wait- why did you say unfortunately?  
  
Dumbledore: I was looking forward for somebody else to win for once, but how much did you wager?  
  
Hermione flips paper over: 1  
  
Dumbledore: What? You chose 1? What type of a person are you? The category for this was books! You read all books.  
  
Hermione: But there is so much to learn in this world!  
  
Dumbledore: Nerd. ahem Well, congratulations, you won 9001 galleons! You are now a champion 26 times in a row!  
  
Hermione: Thank you, Professor. Wow, I won 26 times!  
  
Dumbledore: Also, due to complaints from others, you are no longer allowed to play Jeopardy.  
  
Hermione: What? Why?  
  
Dumbledore: They complain you are too good. Well, have a good night!  
  
audience claps, and camera zooms away. Jeopardy song starts playing again, but I will not play that this time  
  
*****************  
  
I might make another episode to it, if I do, it'll probably be a grown-ups one, one of the teachers, not McGonagall, Dumbledore, Snape or Binns Mr. Weasley, and Neville's Grandma. I don't know. I ran out of funny questions, so it'll be more like chapter 3 was, so I may not do that.  
  
If you don't mind more questions like chapter 3, then pick 3 people, and one of them is a teacher preferably Sprout, Flitwick, Pomfrey or Trelawney and 2 others at least 18 or older. Maybe Percy or somebody  
  
Oh yes, and if you want to vote or tell me if you liked this and what in particular, REVIEW! There, I said it. I check for reviews before and after school every day Pacific time. I never say this, because it gets flames, I learned my lesson once, but tell me who you vote for in the reviews.  
  
  
  
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Note: Can you give me good categories, too? Not questions, but categories. Thanks! 


	5. Game 2; Where is Karkaroff, Who is this ...

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.  
  
Well, it is finally here! Part 2! The characters were voted from the reviews, yay!  
  
******************  
  
Dumbledore: Welcome to Jeopardy. Our three new contestants are here. Professor Trelawney was voted unanimously, along with two others. Sybill, tell us a bit about yourself. Once again, we need everyone to remember that we call people by only the first names here.  
  
Sybill: Headmaster, I see death in your future. The Grim. It is coming closer to you, in the form of the Dark Lord-  
  
Dumbledore: Er, yeah, okay. Now, as for our next contestant, Percy Weasley. Percy?  
  
Percy: Hello, Professor Dumbledore. I am upset my little brother Ron did not win in the last round, but that will not stop me from coming here. I work in the Ministry of Magic. I have now been promoted once again, and now I am the same rank as the late Mr. Crouch. Unfortunately, everybody calls me Weatherby.  
  
Dumbledore: Good for you, and our last guest, Sirius Black.  
  
Audience: gasp  
  
Trelawney: scream  
  
Percy: Oh, Mum already told me about him being innocent of murder.  
  
Sirius: I knew I shouldn't have let Lupin talk me into this.  
  
Dumbledore: Yes, well, Sirius, tell me about yourself.  
  
Sirius: I am Harry's godfather. I am accused of murdering Lily and James Potter, my best friends, by telling Voldemort where they lived. I was the best man at their wedding. My former friend Peter Pettigrew could transform into an animal, and he pretended to be Ron's pet rat. He was the actual person who was evil. In Harry's fourth year, he put Voldemort back into full power. I am still at large, and the Ministry of Magic is hunting me down.  
  
Trelawey: The Grim! The Grim! I saw him outside! I think I'm going to die!  
  
Sirius: gasp Trelawney still works at Hogwarts?  
  
Dumbledore: Oh, put aside your differences, we are here to play Jeopardy. Our categories are: Save this Victim, Name this Wizard, and Where in the World is Professor Karkaroff (for whoever put this review, I changed McGonagall to Karkaroff)  
  
Sirius: Er, do you think it is safe to tell Karkaroff's whereabouts?  
  
Dumbledore: Of course! Sybill, we will start with you.  
  
Trelawney: I'll take Name This Wizard for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This person's rabbit, Binky, died on October the 16th.  
  
Percy: How are we supposed to know that?  
  
Trelawney: Who is Lavender Brown?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy and Sirius stare at Trelawney  
  
Trelawney: Lavender told me. I'll take Name This Wizard for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This Wizard family is known for their red hair.  
  
Percy: Who are the Weasleys?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy: I'll take Name This Wizard for 600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This wizard was known for the downfall of Voldemort.  
  
Sirius: Who was Harry Potter?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Famous Wizards for 800, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This wizard was attacked and locked into his own suitcase.  
  
Sirius: Who is Mad-Eye Moody?  
  
Dumbledore: Alastor Moody, correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Famous Wizards for 1000, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This wizard is known for his pale face-  
  
Sirius: Who is Snape?  
  
Dumbledore: You never let me finish. This wizard is known for his pale face and blonde hair. He has a son-  
  
Percy: Who is Lucius Malfoy?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy: I'll take Name this Wizard for 1200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This wizard was known for her kind heart. A thousand years ago, she founded Hogwarts with her friends, Godric Gryffindor, Rowena R-  
  
Percy: Who is Helga Hufflepuff?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy: I'll take Karkaroff for 100, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Karkaroff originally lived in this country before Voldemort came back.  
  
Sirius: Where is Bulgaria?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Karkaroff for 300, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Karkaroff first settled here, but ran off after his lunch when some Death Eaters came. Bon Appetite?  
  
Percy: Where is France?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy: I'll take Karkaroff for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: After going to France, Karkaroff came to this country. Known for the fatal attack it had on the Muggle world, September 11, 2-  
  
Sirius: Where is Afghanistan?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Karkaroff for 600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Karkaroff fled Afghanistan after a couple of radar scans throughout the mountains. After that, he came to this site, formerly famous for Japan's surprise attack, December 7, 1941.  
  
Percy: Where is Pearl Harbor?  
  
Dumbledore: I expected Hawaii, but I'll take that too.  
  
Percy: I'll take Karkaroff for 800, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This country was known for these famous cartoons: Card Captors, Sailor Moon, Pokemon, Digimon, and Ultraman. (Yes, I admit I used to watch these when I was 12. Happy now? Well, not Sailor Moon. That was when I was 7. Or Pokemon, that was when I was 10.)  
  
Percy: Where is Japan!  
  
everyone looks at him  
  
Percy: Er… I know because… Fred and George watched it on Dad's Muggle tellemission?  
  
Everyone: Right.  
  
Percy: I'll take Karkaroff for 900, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Karkaroff had then fled to this place. Here, the Deli Llama (please do not hurt me for spelling this wrong) is chosen by having a baby crawl and choose which object it had possessed in his past life. These people also drink Yak milk.  
  
Audience: Ewwwwwww.  
  
Trelawney: Where is Tibet?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Trelawney: I'll take Karkaroff for 1100.  
  
Dumbledore: After Karkaroff left Tibet because he could not stand the conditions, he went to this place, which Tibet has been trying to leave. This country's largest city is Shanghai. Here, shie shie means thank you.  
  
Sirius: Where is India?  
  
Dumbledore: No, you idiot! I mean, I believe not.  
  
Percy: Where is China?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy: I'll take Karkaroff for 1300, please.  
  
Dumbledore: After Karkaroff had stayed in China, Death Eaters had found him. This time, he fled to the country where Dutch people come from.  
  
Trelawney: I always wanted to know where Dutch people come from. I've been wanting to buy their shoes. It looks nice with my dangling jewelry.  
  
Percy and Sirius: stare  
  
Dumbledore: Anyone want to answer that?  
  
Percy: Where are the Netherlands?  
  
Dumbledore: No, that is not true. The Netherlands are where Peter Pan came from. You should know better than to watch too many cartoons, Percy. And to think I made you Head Boy.  
  
Percy: But- but it is the Netherlands.  
  
Dumbledore: Why, the Dutch people came from Dutchland, of course.  
  
Cameraman: Er, sir, Dutch people did come from the Netherlands.  
  
Dumbledore stares at the cameraman with disbelief  
  
Cameraman: It says so here, page 114.  
  
Dumbledore: Oh. I see. Well then, carry on.  
  
Percy: I'll take Karkaroff for 1600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Karkaroff later fled from the Netherlands after Peter Pan destroyed Captain Hook and freed the Lost Boys from- what in the world? Well, Karkaroff later came to this country, where Horseshoe Falls, a part of Niagra Falls faces. This country-  
  
Percy: Where is Canada?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy: I'll take Victim for 300, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This person is now at Hogwarts. He was a former Death Eater.  
  
Trelawney: Who is Professor Snape?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Trelawney: I'll take Victim for 500, please.  
  
Dumbledore: I have recently given away the name of the location this victim is, and he doesn't know. In due time, You-Know-Who will have him killed.  
  
Sirius: Who is Karkaroff?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Victim for 800, please.  
  
Dumbledore: And the answer is, Daily Double!  
  
Sirius: I'll wager 500.  
  
Dumbledore: Voldemort has been after this person since he was 16. This person was destined to be the best, and Voldemort wanted him dead.  
  
Trelawney: The Grim! The Grim! That falls into place. It is Harry Potter!  
  
Dumbledore: Unfortunately, that was a Daily Double and Sybill shouted out the answer. You will automatically get credit for that, while Trelawney will lose that much. Right now, Percy is in the lead with- whoa! With 8300. Sirius is following but not quite catching up with 1000. Trelawney is behind with 700. Oh, it looks like time, don't change the channel, we'll be right back!  
  
Camera zooms away, and audience claos. 


	6. Game 2; Teen Muggles, 5 ways to torture,...

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I myself would not dream of playing on Jeopardy (which I do) I would dream of owning it. In other words, I do not make any money from this.  
  
Oh yes, and to Medrina the Weird (I hope I spelled it right) thank you for reviewing what I think is every chapter. I do in fact notice these things. She reviewed other stories, too. My record for reviews was 27 on Sorting Hat, I am trying to break that record. They were different people, too. Enough with me, it's the story you are waiting for, so scroll down…  
  
  
  
  
  
and down….  
  
  
  
  
  
And down…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
and down….  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok, that's good enough.  
  
Dumbledore: All right, now we have new categories. They are 5 ways to torture a Muggle, What Azkaban Did, and Teenage Muggles. Percy is in the lead with 8300. Sirius is following but not quite catching up with 1000. Trelawney is behind with 700  
  
Dumbledore: All right, Trelawney, let's start with you.  
  
Trelawney: I'll take What Azkaban Did for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: After escaping Azkaban, this man had a long black beard and matted unwashed hair. He constantly talked in his sleep.  
  
Sirius: Who am I?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct!  
  
Sirius: I'll take Azkaban for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This 19 year old boy went to Azkaban. He is rumored to have died there, but in fact his mother switched places with him.  
  
Sirius: Who is Bartemius Crouch jr!  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy: No fair, this is your subject.  
  
Sirius: Why do you care, you have 8300 galleons right now. That's like 5 generations of money to you Weasleys.  
  
Percy: Do not make fun of my family.  
  
Sirius: Big-head boy! Poor family! Four-eyes!  
  
Percy: attacks Sirius  
  
Dumbledore: 5 points from Gryffindor!  
  
Percy: I don't go to school anymore.  
  
Dumbledore: Maybe so, I never said that in my life. I felt like doing so. Well, continue.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Azkaban for 500, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This couple has been locked up in Azkaban. Supporters of Voldemort, they rather had gone to Azkaban then to deny they were with Voldemort.  
  
Sirius: Who are the Lestrangles?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Azkaban for 800.  
  
Dumbledore: This is the amount of time it takes for an average person to die in Azkaban.  
  
Sirius: What is shudder 5 weeks.  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Azkaban for 1000.  
  
Dumbledore: 4.  
  
Sirius: What is… The number of people in each Azkaban prison cell?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take 5 ways to torture a Muggle for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: 1. This way was almost guaranteed to kill a Muggle. If it didn't after the 15th time, it was at least known to cause great pain and torture.  
  
Sirius: What is the Cruciatus Curse?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take 5 ways for 500.  
  
Dumbledore: 2. This way was certain to make a Muggle woman embarrased, or maybe perhaps a man wearing a dress.  
  
Trelawney: What is Wingardium Leviosa?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct. As you know, they did that to the Rogers at the World Cup.  
  
Trelawney: I'll take 5 ways for 700.  
  
Dumbledore: 3. This way was known to drive many Muggles insane. Usually it made them believe they were forgetful or irresponsible. This always made them late for work.  
  
Percy: What is the Shrinking Charm?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct. This Charm was always done on keys so they would get new ones, therefore giving the wizard more profit.  
  
Percy: I'll take 5 ways for 900, please.  
  
Dumbledore: 4. This way could not only get a Muggle fired from his job, it was also known to send traumatized Muggles to a shrink.  
  
Percy: What is the Imperious Curse?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy: I'll take 5 ways for 1100, please.  
  
Dumbledore: 5. This way was probably mostly used as pranks by Fred and George. They had called them Canary Creams.  
  
Percy: What is a Canary Transfiguration Charm.  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy: I'll take Teenage Muggles for 200.  
  
Dumbledore: In the movie "Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone," teenage girls went crazy over this 'gorgeous' blonde boy.  
  
Percy: Who his Tom Felton?  
  
Trelawney and Sirius: stare  
  
Percy: So what? I do enjoy a bit of leisure time. I'll take Teenage Muggles for 400.  
  
Dumbledore: Teenage girls who want to get on the movie always want these two parts.  
  
Sirius: Who is that girl Harry likes, and that veela?  
  
Dumbledore: Cho and Fleur, correct.  
  
Sirius: So that's the girl who Harry likes. thinking of ways to blackmail his godson I'll take Teenage Muggles for 500, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This is one of the most popular bands Teenage Muggles like.  
  
Percy: Who is N*Sync?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Percy: Who Alicia Keys?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Percy: Who is Baha Men?  
  
Dumbledore: Still no.  
  
Percy: exasperated Who is A*Teens?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
silence  
  
Dumbledore: The correct answer is, Who are the Beatles.  
  
Cameraman: Er, I think that question is a bit outdated.  
  
Dumbledore: I don't think so.  
  
Percy: I'll take Teenage Muggles for 600.  
  
Dumbledore: This girl started her career at age 17 as a singer. Her first song was "Drive Me Crazy" and now she is considered a terrible example to many.  
  
Percy: Who is Britney Spears?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy: I think she looks really nice.  
  
Dumbledore: I don't know, I never saw her.  
  
Buzzer sounds.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, looks like the time is up! Percy is still in the lead with 9800, Sirius with 4500, and Trelawney as the caboose with 1200.  
  
Sorry this chapter took so long to post, I had it written on Saturday until the part of the tallies which was the last line, but yesterday my mom wanted me to go to her workplace because it "helps" when I grow up, though I do not want to be a manager of a store nobody has heard about, it is so boring. I do want to be a humor writer though…  
  
Note*- I did not get the part about Dutchland from Friends, I had no idea where they came from either. I had to look it up in the dictionary because I thought they came from Holland, and I just wrote what I would have said. Hey, I'm only 13. What do you expect me to be, a genius? 


	7. Muggle Literature, Teacher's Lives, Rowl...

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter  
  
*******  
  
Sorry it took so long, I meant to get this up a long time ago, but then I started to think of a new fiction that I have not wrote yet. You thought I abandoned this, did you? Well I didn't. What? Rowling got a block thing during Chamber of Secrets when the Philosopher's Stone became such a hit in America.  
  
******  
  
Dumbledore: Now, Percy is still in the lead with 9800, Sirius with 4500, and Trelawney as the caboose with 1200. Our categories for today are Rowling's Books, Muggle Literature, and Teacher's Lives. Did you know how long it took me to find this information in interviews with Rowling? It is almost all true Sybill, once again we start with you.  
  
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling's Books for 100, please.  
  
Percy: Who is Rowling?  
  
Trelawney: She writes about us and gets our future all correct; I checked.  
  
Sirius: So that was how you made that prediction in the end of Harry's third year!  
  
Dumbledore: This book, the first of Rowling's novels, took 5 years to write.  
  
Trelawney: What was Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Rowling lives in this country.  
  
Percy: Where is England?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Trelawney: Where is Scotland?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling's Books for 500.  
  
Dumbledore: This religion is trying to discourage people from reading Harry Potter because they say it encourages Wicca.  
  
Sirius: Wicca, what's Wicca?  
  
Percy: I heard Dad talking about it; a bunch of those people claimed to join our Ministry of Magic 'Coven' and they spelled Magic with a K.  
  
Sirius: Oh, that thing. When Moony, Prongs and I went on our prowls, we saw those people lighting candles near the Whomping Willow. They called us Familiars, and I chased them away by biting one on the butt.  
  
Trelawney: What is Christianity?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct!  
  
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling for 600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Rowling says that a fan will die in book 5. A Harry Potter fan, that is.  
  
Percy: Might be Sirius.  
  
Sirius: I'm not a fan, must be Colin or Ginny.  
  
Percy: Are you saying you think my little sister is going to die?  
  
Sirius: No, not that!  
  
Percy: You better not. I think that it might also be Dennis or Malfoy.  
  
Malfoy: Me? A fan of Harry Potter? Not on your life!  
  
Sirius: That reminds me, once I turned animagus and snuck into your common room. I saw your Harry Potter poster.  
  
Malfoy: That is none of your business.  
  
Dumbledore: Will you get to the point?  
  
Sirius: Oh, er… What was the question again?  
  
Dumbledore: Forget it, I'll skip that. Question 700. This Harry Potter character, Rowling claims, was like one of her teachers when she was in school.  
  
Sirius: Who was Snape?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Rowling's Books for 900.  
  
Dumbledore: Lily and James Potter was this age when Harry was born.  
  
Sirius: What is 21.  
  
Percy and Trelawney: What?  
  
Sirius: Well, Lily and James are the same age as I am. Take 15, subtract it from 36, and you get 21.  
  
Percy: 21 seems a bit young.  
  
Sirius: So what? Their marriage was successful. It's not like they got divorced.  
  
Trelawney: That's because they DIED.  
  
Sirius: Better than getting divorced.  
  
Percy: Are you even sad your best friends died?  
  
Sirius: I am furious at Peter. I can't believe he would betray the two of them. They should have made Arabella the Secret Keeper.  
  
Trelawney: She was. She is Harry's sec-oops.  
  
Percy: Now you ruined my life by telling me the future!  
  
Trelawney: You're in the Ministry of Magic and you don't know?  
  
Percy: Crouch doesn't trust me.  
  
Dumbledore: ahem  
  
Sirius: Sorry. I will take Rowling's Books for 1100 please.  
  
Dumbledore: This character is probably the largest controversy for the movie. Where can you find an Asian actress in England when most of the people there can not speak English, and if they do than they are either the wrong age, or can not act. The solution: Have try-outs in LA.  
  
Trelawney: Who is Cho Chang? (If there already is an actress playing this, which I don't think there is, prove me wrong by telling me her name. I know that they haven't even considered doing Anything for the third movie yet)  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This book was written during the Civil War by Harriet Beecher Stowe, an abolitionist, meaning she disapproved slavery. (this show is educational, too)  
  
Sirius: What is Uncle Tom's Cabin?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 400.  
  
Dumbledore: This book, written by Frank L. Baum, was put into a movie. This book was made in a collection. Other books by the same author include: The Emerald City of Oz, Ozma of Oz, and the Tin Woodman of Oz.  
  
Percy: What is the Wonderful Wizard of Oz?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Percy: I'll take Muggle Literature for 600.  
  
Dumbledore: This novel won a Newberry Honor award, which is only given out once a year to a children's book. This author, Louis Sachar, was also the author of Wayside School is Falling Down.  
  
Trelawney: What is Holes?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Trelawney: I'll take Muggle Literature for 800.  
  
Dumbledore: This book was also made into a movie. The author, Dick King- Smith (Richard King-Smith) also wrote The Terrible Trio and Sophie turns six. He writes only about animals.  
  
Sirius: What is Babe, the gallant pig?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 1000.  
  
Dumbledore: And the answer is: Daily Double!  
  
Audience: clap clap  
  
Dumbledore: I am so thankful this audience is better than the ones on the Jerry Springer show. After all, they are all the Hogwarts staff and family and friends to the contestants. My 138 year old wife is there. Oh, back to the question.  
  
Sirius: I'll wager 1500.  
  
Dumbledore: All right. This book was written by Elizabeth George Speare squeal and it has also won an award. The story takes place in Salem, where a young girl, Kit Tyler comes to her aunt and uncle's to live after her grandfather dies.  
  
Sirius: What is The Witch of Blackbird Pond?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct! That brings you up to 7500!  
  
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 1200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: In this book, which has once again been made into a movie, was written by Roald Dahl. It is very popular. Other famous books by this author includes Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The BFG, and James and the Giant Peach.  
  
Trelawney: What is Matilda?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct!  
  
Trelawney: I'll take Teacher's Lives for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This Hogwarts staff member helped Remus Lupin to the Whomping Willow whenever he transformed.  
  
Trelawney: Who is Madame Pomfrey?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct!  
  
Trelawney: I'll take Teacher's Lives for 500.  
  
Dumbledore: Professor McGonagall is the oldest at the school besides me. How she keeps her hair black is a wonder. This is her age.  
  
Trelawney: What is 72? (By the way, this is from Rowling's interview, so it is correct, ha! So was the one about Lily and James' age)  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: How does she keep her hair black? I can give the remedy to Remus, he is half her age exactly, and his hair is already gray.  
  
Percy: Maybe it is from stress.  
  
Sirius: Yeah, and McGonagall has no stress. That's right. Her hair should have turned pure white by the time my gang left Hogwarts.  
  
Trelawney: I'll take Teacher's Lives for 800.  
  
Dumbledore: These are the only Hogwarts teachers that are married.  
  
Trelawney: Who are Madame Pomfrey, Professor Sprout, Professor Sinistra, Professor Vector, and Professor Flitwick?  
  
Sirius: Ha, McGonagall is not married.  
  
Percy: She's widowed.  
  
Sirius: Oh. How come most of the women are married?  
  
Percy: Well, most of the teachers are women. I'm trying to imagine Professor Flitwick's wife. 2 feet-  
  
Sirius: 6 inches-  
  
Percy: And one millimeter.  
  
Percy and Sirius: Haha!  
  
Flitwick: That's 40 points from Gryffindor!  
  
Sirius: I wonder if any of the teachers are married to eachother.  
  
Percy: If they were, they would have the same last name.  
  
Sirius: Oh yes, of course. Which teacher do you think has bad taste?  
  
Percy: McGonagall, I saw her eating haggis.  
  
Sirius: Ewwwwww. Who would want to eat a sheep's intestine-  
  
Percy: Boiled with oatmeal-  
  
Sirius: And drained-  
  
Percy: Then stuffed back into the sheep's stomach-  
  
Sirius: and tied at the ends?  
  
Dumbledore: It is a common thing to eat in Scotland, such as fish and chips.  
  
Sirius: I had been hiding in America for so long I forgot what fish and chips are.  
  
Percy: Chips are what Americans call 'French Fries'  
  
Sirius: I never knew chips were French.  
  
Percy: They aren't. Neither are French Toast, French Kissing, or French Braid.  
  
Sirius: That's like Double Dutch and Chinese Jump Rope!  
  
bell rings  
  
Dumbledore: Thank you for wasting so much time, we could have finished the questions. Well, now Percy has 10,000, Sirius follows with 7,500, and Trelawney with 5600. Now our next round will be the final question. You have thirty seconds to do this after the commercial. 


	8. End of Round 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Mrs. Murray a.k.a J.K. Rowling wrote it. Now she has writer's block. Her 5th book won't be out this year. Pity.  
  
By the way, I am shocked that she got married. WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED? I didn't know until my friend told me at school today, 5-29-02.  
  
Replies to reviews: The part about McGonagall and the Marauder's ages were true. Dumbledore was 150, McGonagall was 72, and Snape was 36. That is why Dumbledore/McGonagall love stories make me puke. The marriages were not true. (aw) and yes I was born in August, peridot is my gemstone. Oh and yes, I was born in Scotland. My mother told me that they only served haggis in the hospitals. (ew) I am also one of the most devoted Harry Potter fans; who else would research her wedding?  
  
Dumbledore: Well, we are back. Percy has 10,000, Sirius follows with 7,500, and Trelawney with 5600. Our category is the Weasley's Inter-family Relationships!  
  
Percy: Please tell me it is between arguments.  
  
Dumbledore: These are all based on fictions written by other authors. Our question for today is: Name all the Weasley couples written in fanfics! You have 30 seconds, good luck!  
  
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dong, ding ding ding ding ding, di-di-di- di-di ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dong, do-do-do-do-do-do-do.  
  
Dumbledore: Time's up! Now, remember these are only fanfics. Our god, Joanne Rowling does not write this. Now, let us see Trelawney first.  
  
Trelawney flips paper over Ginny/Ron, Molly/Arthur, Fred/George, Bill/Charlie  
  
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, you missed some. How much did you wager?  
  
Trelawney flips another paper over 2000.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, that leaves you with 3600. Now, Sirius, let us see your paper.  
  
Sirius flips paper over Ginny/Ron, Molly/Arthur, Bill/Charlie, Fred/George, Percy/Ginny, Ginny/Molly.  
  
Dumbledore: That is correct!  
  
Percy: choke  
  
Dumbledore: Let's see… you wagered 5000, giving you a total of 12,500! Now, let's see Percy.  
  
Percy flips paper over: Mum/Dad.  
  
Dumbledore: Unfortunately, you missed a lot! How much did you wager?  
  
Percy flips paper over: 4000.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, that leaves you with 6000. Sirius is our winner with 12,500!  
  
Sirius: Yes!  
  
Trelawney: I had seen that portrayed in the future, Headmaster.  
  
Percy: That wasn't fair! You insulted my family!  
  
Dumbledore: Well, Percy, you still got 6000 galleons. That is enough to last your family a lifetime.  
  
Percy: That's good.  
  
Dumbledore: And Trelawney gets the booby prize of 3,600. Not too bad. See you next time on Jeopardy!  
  
contestants step down from stage. Harry and Hermione hug Sirius. Ron and the other 7 Weasleys hug Percy, and then Mr. Weasley goes to Dumbledore and complains about the last question. Trelawney comes to sit, but the other teachers move away from her  
  
Well, that's the end. If I make more, don't bother trying to check every day, it'll probably be next month before I make a new one. I haven't said this, but Review! Thank you, thank you! takes a bow Free haggis giveaway, just go out your door to the left. Good day!  
  
P.S. If you think the Weasley stuff was gross, so did I. People told me to chose that in my reviews.  
  
After this I predict I shall suffer weeks of writer's block, but this Will be continued.  
  
  
  
Omigod omigod omigod, I was searching Harry Potter and just hit the jackpot. I found Professor Flitwick's first name! And it is real because I was looking up Mark Williams (Mr. Weasley) and it said Warwick plays Flitwick! Professor Filius Flitwick! Omigod omigod omigod! 


	9. Game 3; Karkaroff(con), US Civil War, Un...

Disclaimer: I have no friends. Friends inspire you to create new ideas. Therefore I am not JK Rowling and therefore I did not create Harry Potter. J/K, I have some friends, but I still do not own Harry Potter. Now, you are thinking: Who can write such a long disclaimer? A person who did not create Harry Potter, of course (  
  
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*Author's fun note: I am so sorry it took so long to post. My thousands (all right, 20) adoring fans must feel very upset I did not post for so long. I had writer's block, and I finished game 2 so I didn't expect to go on until my mom made me ( because her friend's son read it and loved it too much  
  
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Did I mention I have 3 whole people on my favorite author's list ? (  
  
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Dumbledore: Well, we come back to Jeopardy. Jeopardy music plays and our guests are Lucius Malfoy, Amos Diggory, and our returning champion Sirius Black!  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Good evening, Dumbledore.  
  
Dumbledore: Lucius, I understand that you and I er- haven't got along too well. You did almost get me fired 3 years ago.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Forgive and forget is my motto.  
  
Dumbledore: How do you feel about the rumor Harry Potter spread that you work for Voldemort's inner circle and are a Death Eater?  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Why, that is rubbish, of course.  
  
Dumbledore: Right. Our next guest is Amos Diggory. Amos, why are you on our show today?  
  
Mr. Diggory: Well, I wasn't planning to, but we are now broke. We wouldn't have been if Cedric won the Triwizard Tournament and got the 1000 galleons, but- he died. sob  
  
Dumbledore: It's all right, Amos.  
  
Mr. Diggory: No it's not! bawls into sleeve  
  
Dumbledore: Well, and we have our returning favorite champion/godfather/fugitive, Sirius Black!  
  
Sirius: bows  
  
Dumbledore: How does it feel like getting respect?  
  
Sirius: Bad. Fudge watches Jeopardy, and he had the entire Ministry of Magic go and attempt to kill me right when I got off the set. I lost all the money I won, and he confiscated it as "evidence of my treachery"  
  
Audience: Awwww.  
  
Sirius: But I am back and trying to earn money again!  
  
Audience: cheer  
  
Dumbledore: Well, our categories for today are Unscramble This, Where in the World is Karkaroff Continued, and The American Civil War (I am obsessed with it) Sirius, you start.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 100, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This man lead the South for 'states rights' otherwise known as slavery. Though this man opposed slavery himself, he fought for the South because his hometown was in Virginia.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Who is General Robert E. Lee?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Civil War for 300, please.  
  
Dumbledore: The fiercest battle of the Civil War, Union (North) Victory.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: What is the Battle of Antietam?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct!  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Civil War for 400, please  
  
Dumbledore: This one of Neville Longbottom's ancestors accidentally shot his own Confederate General. The result was the loss of Lee's best general. After Neville Longbottom sr. apologized over and over again, it was all vain because this general then suffered from ammonia and died 8 days later.  
  
Sirius: Who is Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 600.  
  
Dumbledore: The battle of the Civil War ended here.  
  
Sirius: What is the Appromatox Courthouse?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct. Amos, I realize you haven't answered anything yet.  
  
Mr. Diggory: The deaths. Reminds me of Ced. bursts into tears  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Ced? He calls his son Ced?  
  
Sirius: Book 4, chapter 5.  
  
Everyone: stare  
  
Sirius: What? I read that Muggle reporter Rowling's stories. I think she stalks Harry. I'll take Civil War for 700, please.  
  
Dumbledore: The Monitor and the Merrimac.  
  
Sirius: What are ironclad ships?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 1000.  
  
Dumbledore: Begins 'Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal" (In our class, we played Jeopardy. I got EVERYTHING right about the Gettysburg Address. 272 words, takes 2-3 minutes to recite, 4 months and a half after the battle, Lincoln makes 'a few appropriate remarks,' everyone thought I was a robot, etc)  
  
Mr. Malfoy: What is Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Civil War for 1200, if you please.  
  
Dumbledore: This was issued before the 13th Amendment, freeing slaves from the South where Union soldiers marched only.  
  
Mr. Diggory: What is the Emancipation Proclamation?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Civil War for 1400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: General Lee's entire confederate army surrendered to this general, only under the promise his soldiers will be fed and taken care of, and not killed. This General later became the 18th U.S. president.  
  
Sirius: Who is General Ulysses S. Grant?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 1500, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This Southern sympathizer shot President Lincoln only a few days after the Civil War ended, while Lincoln was still president. Andrew Johnson immediately got sworn into office as the 17th president.  
  
Amos Diggory: sob Abraham Lincoln was murdered, the way You-Know-Who murdered Ced. bangs fist on microphone and accidentally presses buzzer oops, er, who was John Wilkes Booth?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct!  
  
Amos: I'll take Unscramble This for 200.  
  
Dumbledore: drceCi gigDoyr  
  
Amos: Who was Cedric Diggory. cries even harder  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Amos: I'll take sob U-hic I'll take sniffle  
  
Dumbledore: Come on now, we don't have all day!  
  
Sirius: I think he means take Unscramble This for 400.  
  
Dumbledore: zdriWa onaTmrunet  
  
Mr. Malfoy: What is the Triwizard Tournament?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Unscramble This for 600.  
  
Dumbledore: And the answer is- Daily Double!  
  
Audience: clap clap  
  
Mr. Malfoy: 1000, please.  
  
Dumbledore: All right, hCo hgCna  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Hoc Gnach?  
  
Dumbledore: Incorrect. The answer was Cho Chang, Harry's crush.  
  
Mr. Diggory: That was Ced's girlfriend. cries into microphone with sound echoing off the walls  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll make a mental note to tell my son Draco, so he shall tease Harry about that. I'll take Unscramble this for 800.  
  
Dumbledore: skliBasi  
  
Sirius: What is Basilisk?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Unscramble this for 1000, please.  
  
Dumbledore: xeaBabnots  
  
Mr. Diggory: What is Beaxbatons sniff?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 200.  
  
Dumbledore: After narrowly escaping the Death Eaters when I last told his location, Karkaroff went on the run again to this place. This country borders the U.S. They are famous for their spicy foods and sweets.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Where is Mexico?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 300. Oh, by the way, Dumbledore, I watched your last Jeopardy round. Peter Pan did not come from the Netherlands, he came from Never Never Land.  
  
Dumbledore: grumbles Well, this country is famous for a food every red- blooded American child loves-pizza! While your here, check out the Leaning Tower of Pizza!  
  
Sirius: Where is Italy?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: It is the Leaning Tower of Pisa, not Pizza.  
  
Dumbledore: Same thing.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 600.  
  
Dumbledore: In this country, unlike America, says "chips" instead of "french fries" and "braces" instead of "suspenders."  
  
Mr. Diggory: Where is England?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 800.  
  
Dumbledore: After fleeing England because it was obviously where most of the Death Eaters already were, Karkaroff escaped to this country. The capital is Moscow, and many people there have blonde hair. They also have little wooden toys that when you pull each apart, a smaller figure is inside until you get 3 to 10. (Just in case you are wondering, my parents travel round the world. My parents are Chinese, lived in Scotland for 10 years and I was born, and went to Russia, Japan, France, etc.)  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Where is Russia?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll tale Karkaroff Continued for 1100, sir.  
  
Dumbledore: My goodness, you even talk like your son. Well, the question: Christopher Columbus came from this place, and I do not mean the director of the Harry Potter movie!  
  
Sirius: There's a Harry Potter movie?  
  
Mr. Diggory: I don't know. I heard about some Christopher Columbus finding some country by King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella.  
  
Sirius: Oh! Spain!  
  
Dumbledore: No, remember your history lessons, Christopher Columbus did not get an approval from his own country so he went to Spain.  
  
Sirius: Oh. Then he came from Italy?  
  
Mr. Diggory: No, Marco Polo came from Italy.  
  
Dumbledore: Italy is correct!  
  
Mr. Diggory: I thought Marco Polo came from Italy.  
  
Dumbledore: He did.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Christopher Columbus couldn't come from Italy too!  
  
Dumbledore: Why not?  
  
Mr. Diggory: Because-because- oh, I see. Never mind.  
  
Sirius: Smart, Amos.  
  
Mr. Diggory: At least I'm not an escaped convict.  
  
Sirius: I told you. I told everyone: Peter Pettigrew framed me! He is still alive! I didn't kill him!  
  
Mr. Diggory: Any witnesses?  
  
Sirius: Remus, Peter, Voldemort, Harry, Hermione, and Ron.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Right. 3 kids, one werewolf, one dead person, and one evil super villain.  
  
Sirius: Fine. Don't believe me.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I never did.  
  
Sirius: Cedric died! Cedric died! Cedric died!  
  
Mr. Diggory: eyes brimming Please, do not remind me that my strong handsome Hufflepuff Seeker son died! He was loved by almost everyone.  
  
Sirius: imitating Voldemort Kill….the….spare….  
  
Mr. Diggory: points wand at Sirius Fununculus!  
  
Sirius: yells as boils come out of his face  
  
Dumbledore: 50 points from Hufflepuff!  
  
Mr. Diggory: I graduated from Hogwarts 23 years ago.  
  
Dumbledore: Who cares, still 50 points. It isn't like it matters, Hufflepuff always gets last place for the cup. They can't even get within 50 points of Ravenclaw!  
  
Mr. Diggory: Well… Hufflepuffs aren't born smart.  
  
Dumbledore: Of course. Have you ever read books before? They are almost always the same: Two boys, one girl, and one outcast. In the case of Harry Potter, it is Neville Longbottom. Always the same thing. My best example would be Digimon: 2 boys, one athletic girl, one sweet one. Same case as Founding Four: Godric was the hero, Salazar was the rude one, Rowena was the athletic and smart one, and Hufflepuff was the sweet one. Try Enchanted Forest Chronicles and such, they are always the same thing. Try The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. Perfect example. Ever read Louis Sachar's The Boy Who Lost His Face? Well, David is the Hero, Larry is the rude sidekick, Maureen is the tom boy, and Tori is the sweet outcast. Back to Enchanted Forest Chronicles: You see, Morwen was the sort of the sweet one, Cimorene was athletic, Mendenbar's the hero and-  
  
Sirius: We get it.  
  
Mr. Diggory: So you are basically saying that Hufflepuff's the outcast?  
  
Dumbledore: Yes. Ever met Ernie MacMillan?  
  
Mr. Diggory: This is Jeopardy! This is not Live With Regis, so stop!  
  
Dumbledore: All right, all right. I'm cool.  
  
bell rings  
  
Dumbledore: All right. Now Amos Diggory is in the lead with 57 points, followed by Sirius Black with 53. Tagging as a caboose is Lucius Malfoy with 16 points.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'm calling my lawyer!  
  
Dumbledore: There is no way you can sue me, you got that fair and square.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: You're a racist!  
  
Dumbledore: We're all from England. How can I be a racist?  
  
Mr. Malfoy: You don't like blonde hair and blue eyes!  
  
Dumbledore: When I was young, I HAD blonde hair and blue eyes.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Well- well, (shuts himself up)  
  
Dumbledore: We'll be right back on Jeopardy!  
  
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Like before, please chose the categories, please ( 


	10. Karkaroff's Coffin, Muggle Movies, Fanfi...

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own Jeopardy. I am tired of writing this every chapter.  
  
I am so sorry it took so long to post, but with so much going on. progress reports.middle school promotion.field trips.last dance..etc. Plus the fact that fanfiction.net had that error thing. Well, here it is!  
  
************ Dumbledore: Amos Diggory has 570 points, followed by Sirius Black with 530, tagging as a caboose is Lucius Malfoy with 160 points. Surprise, surprise. Now, the categories for today are Karkaroff's Coffin, Muggle Movies, and Fanfics About Yourselves. We'll start with Lucius Malfoy. Lucius?  
  
Lucius: I'll take Karkaroff's Coffin for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Sorrowfully, after my last location giveaway, Voldemort's supporters finally caught up to Karkaroff and killed him. However, during his funeral, he was put in a plane and flown over this state, where the American Civil War battle of Gettysburg was fought.  
  
Sirius: Where is Pennsylvania?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Karkaroff's Coffin for 400.  
  
Dumbledore: Karkaroff's plane finally landed here, on a tropical island. Unfortunately, his body slid off of the plane during the ride and his coffin fell into this second largest body of water.  
  
Sirius: Where is the Atlantic Ocean?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Karkaroff's coffin for 600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: After floating in the Atlantic Ocean, Karkaroff's body slid into this other body of water, folded within Mexico.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Where is the Gulf of Mexico?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Karkaroff's coffin for 800.  
  
Dumbledore: And the answer is: Daily Double!  
  
Audience: clap clap  
  
Draco: Wager 1000, Father! Wager 1000!  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'd wager 1000.  
  
Dumbledore: All right. Karkaroff's body sailed deep into a lagoon at the Gulf of Mexico. Some mermaids were scared to death, and had it thrown practically to the other side of the world. It landed in this country, which is mostly covered by ice, but known to be "green."  
  
Mr. Malfoy: What is Greenland?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Karkaroff's Coffin for 1100.  
  
Dumbledore: Finally, Karkaroff's body slid down into this state. It was part of the South during the American Civil War, and was purchased from Napoleon, mainly because of New Orleans, a city here.  
  
Sirius: What is Louisiana?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Movies for 200.  
  
Dumbledore: In this movie, a girl was an outcast, and a boy was a troublemaker. They fell in love, and the girl gets leukemia and dies. Available on DvD and Video in the Fall of 2002.  
  
Mr. Diggory: What is A Walk To Remember?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Muggle Movies for 500.  
  
Dumbledore: This movie, now in Theaters everywhere, is about a young woman getting in a fight with her mother. The mother's 3 oldest friends, the Ya- Ya's, kidnap the girl and force them back together.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: What is Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Muggle Movies for 700.  
  
Dumbledore: This movie features Sarah Michelle Geller and any others. It is about friendship, and has a man's best friend. Coming to theaters soon.  
  
Sirius: What is Scooby Doo?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: Muggle Movies for 800.  
  
Dumbledore: Rave marries Evelin. Danny dies. Very sad.  
  
Mr. Diggory: sob What is Pearl Harbor?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Muggle Movies for 1000.  
  
Dumbledore: Satine, the Sparkling Diamond, dies. This musical features songs such as 'Like a Virgin.'  
  
Mr. Malfoy: What is Moulin Rouge?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: You watched that?  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Oh yeah. Sad though. I didn't like the fact that they told Satine would die in the first 5 minutes of the movie, when that boy is typing on his typewriter, crying. I'll take Muggle Movies for 1200.  
  
Dumbledore: This is one of the scariest movies ever. Some fisherman is hit by a car during summer, and one by one, he murders everyone in his way. They are all teenagers.  
  
Sirius: shudder What is I Know What You Did Last Summer.  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Fanfics for 100.  
  
Dumbledore: Name all the people Hermione has a romance with in fanfics. Do not include slash.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Who is Harry Potter and Ron Weasley?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Sirius: Who are Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Bill Weasley, and Charlie Weasley?  
  
Dumbledore: Still no.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Who are Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Victor Krum, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Bill Weasley and Charlie Weasley?  
  
Dumbledore: Never been a Hermione/Victor Krum romance around. Many Victor and Cho's though.  
  
silence  
  
Dumbledore: The correct answer; Who are Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Severus Snape, Professor Dumbledore, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Bill Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, and Draco Malfoy. I do not read Nc17 so that's all I know, lol  
  
Sirius: They included you too?  
  
Dumbledore: Yes. shudders (There was an NC17 with a summary that had that though)  
  
Sirius: You sick pervert!  
  
Dumbledore: yes, well Mr. Diggory, please start with your choice.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Fanfics for 200.  
  
Dumbledore: This teenage Muggle fanfic author has dreamed of writing comedy for televisions shows such as the type the Simpsons and Just Shoot Me are. Dream on, toots. Well, she also writes fanfics. Her biggest hit was Jeopardy, which was a crossover between Harry Potter and Jeopardy. She is on the favorites list of 3 people. Pathetic, really.  
  
Sirius: Who is Ailsa?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct!  
  
Sirius: Fanfics for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Top 5 MST victims.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Who are Harry, Hermione, Ron, my son Draco, and Severus Snape?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Fanfics for 500.  
  
Dumbledore: In this MST, the Marauders get their hands on this book.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: What is Harry Potter and the Sorceror's/Philosopher's stone?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct. Wish they did Prisoner of Azkaban. I want to see Sirius strangling Peter. Should I?  
  
Sirius: I wish I killed Peter that year. I can't believe Harry talked me into trying to send him to Azkaban! Then he ends up bringing Voldemort back to life.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: That year was almost sad. Remember the year before that when I got Dumbledore suspended?  
  
Sirius: Yes. Then Ron's sister Ginny got kidnapped and almost died because of that.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: But in the end it was good because that way, Harry destroyed Tom Marvalo Riddle.  
  
Sirius: Yup. You smuggled the diary into Ginny's schoolbooks.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Well, I was younger back then, and didn't know better. Remember when I led those Death Eaters to destroy that Muggle family back in our fourth year?  
  
Mr. Diggory: Wait a minute- that means you are a Death Eater.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Oh, er- oops. whistles casually  
  
Mr. Diggory: And Peter Pettigrew killed my son with the Avada Kedavra curse. Voldemort told him to, and you are one of Voldemort's helpers.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: takes a step back  
  
Mr. Diggory: You were in the plan to kill Ced! I'll kill you!  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Now now, Amos. Take it easy now-  
  
Mr. Diggory: throws himself at Lucius and punches him repeatedly  
  
Mr. Malfoy: This is exactly what Arthur Weasley did. shields his face Don't stain my gorgeous blonde Malfoy hair! My wife Narcissa married me because of it!  
  
Dumbledore: Break it up, you two. This is Jeopardy, not Jerry Springer or Ultimate Fighting.  
  
Sirius: You mean Wrestling.  
  
Dumbledore: shakes head Wrestling is fake. Ultimate Fighting is much cooler. It is real, and there are no rules.  
  
Sirius: You mean you could bite someone?  
  
Dumbledore: Yes. You can also give them Wet Willys.  
  
Sirius: Willy's? Wet ones? turns pale  
  
Dumbledore: I meant the American meaning for Willy, you fool!  
  
Sirius: Oh.  
  
Dumbledore: You can also kick, bite, scratch, and do anything. The only thing you can't do is bring a weapon with you. Enough of this, Mr. Malfoy:  
  
Mr. Malfoy: What? Oh, yes, Jeopardy. Fanfics for 800.  
  
Dumbledore: This Harry Potter character gets pregnant more than any other character.  
  
Sirius: Who is Hermione?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Who is sob Cho?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
silence  
  
Dumbledore: The correct answer is Draco Malfoy.  
  
stunned  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Oh, not my son Draco! By who?  
  
Dumbledore: Ron.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: choke Are you mad? My son? Love a Weasley? Love a male Weasley, to top it off?  
  
Dumbledore: Calm down.  
  
bell rings  
  
Dumbledore: Looks like our time is up. Meet you back at Jeopardy soon for your question. Right now, Armos Diggory has 850, Sirius has 2950, and Lucius Malfoy has 4000. Meet you back on Jeopardy!  
  
********************* Not my fault it took so long to post, Fanfiction.net's errors. Okay, now the Review Button works. Notice it please. 


	11. Lockhart, Misc, and more

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Jeopardy.  
  
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Here it is! Quite fast this time. Didn't get as many reviews, but never fear!  
  
Dumbledore: All right, we are back on Jeopardy. Right now, Amos Diggory has 850, Sirius has 2950, and Lucius Malfoy has 4000. All right. Our categories for today are Wonderful World of Lockhart-  
  
Mr. Diggory: squeals  
  
Dumbledore: Ahem, yes, all you Lockhart fans out there, Famous Quotes, and Miscellaneous Things That Fit Into Absolutely No Other Category. Amos, we'll start with you.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Lockhart for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This is Lockhart's ideal birthday present.  
  
Mr. Diggory: What is peace between the Muggle and Wizarding Worlds, and a nice bottle of Ogden's Old Firewiskey?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: squeals I'll take Lockhart for 450.  
  
Dumbledore: This is the color of Lockhart's robes when he was signing autographs at Flourish and Botts.  
  
Mr. Diggory: What is forget-me-not-blue?  
  
Dumbledore: That's correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Lockhart for 600.  
  
Dumbledore: Lockhart uses this quill to sign autographs for Magical Me.  
  
Mr. Diggory: What is peacock?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Lockhart for 800.  
  
Dumbledore: After Lockhart lost his memory, he came to this place.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: What is St. Mungos?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Lockhart for 900 please.  
  
Dumbledore: And the answer is.Daily Double!  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I will wager 1000.  
  
Dumbledore: This is Lockhart's favorite color.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: stares blankly because he isn't a Lockhart fan what.is.turquoise?  
  
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, the correct answer was lilac.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Lockhart for 1000.  
  
Dumbledore: This is the book Lockhart says his favorite color is lilac in.  
  
Mr. Diggory: squeal What is Year with the Yeti?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Lockhart for 1200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: These are all of Lockhart's books.  
  
Mr. Diggory: What are Break with a Banshee, Gadding with Ghouls, Holidays with Hags, Travels with Trolls, Voyages with Vampires, Wandering with Werewolves, Year With the Yeti, and Magical me?  
  
Dumbledore: That is correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: squeals  
  
Sirius: Amos looks happy this round.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: not for long.whispers in Diggory's ear Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died  
  
Mr. Diggory: whimper  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died Cedric died 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Dumbledore: Please stop that, Lucius.  
  
Mr. Lucius. Fine.  
  
Mr. Diggory: now crying very, very hard I'll take Famous Quotes for 100. wails  
  
Dumbledore: 'I'm really sorry, Harry, but I already said I was going with somebody else.'  
  
Sirius: Who is Cho.  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Famous Quotes for 300.  
  
Dumbledore: 'You must be Hermione Granger, always on top of everything.'  
  
Sirius: Who is Justin Flinch-Fletchey.  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Famous Quotes for 400.  
  
Dumbledore: 'Why, have you outlined all of Lockhart's books in hearts?'  
  
Mr. Malfoy: What is that Muggle-loving Weasley.  
  
Dumbledore: Which Weasley.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Exactly.  
  
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, that is not the correct answer.  
  
Sirius: Who is Ron Weasley.  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Famous Quotes for 500.  
  
Dumbledore: 'I'm not buying today, Mr. Borgin. I'm selling.'  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Who am I?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Famous Quotes for 750.  
  
Dumbledore: 'Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative. It returns a cursed person to their natural state.'  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Who is that Mudblood Granger.  
  
Dumbledore: Say their name.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: That's it. I'm not answering anymore.  
  
Sirius: Who is Hermione Granger?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Famous Quotes for 900.  
  
Dumbledore: 'Sirius, fetch Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher- the old crowd. Lie low at Lupin's for a while-'  
  
Mr. Diggory: Who are you?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: Great job. You told Fudge where I live now.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: No wonder so many slash fanfics are written about you. You two live together!  
  
Sirius: Take that back!  
  
Mr. Malfoy: Make me.  
  
Sirius: I'll make you.  
  
Dumbledore: Please, gentlemen. Stop that.  
  
Sirius and Malfoy: glower at eachother angrily  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Famous Quote's for 1000.  
  
Dumbledore: 'Now, don't forget the nice wrist movement's I've taught you- swish and flick. And remember saying the magic words properly is very important, too. Never forget Wizard Baruffio who said 's' instead of 'f' and ended up with a buffalo on his chest.'  
  
Sirius: Who is Professor Flitwick?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Famous Quotes for 1200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: 'You were clutching your scar! You were rolling on the floor, clutching your scar! Now I have experience in those matters!"  
  
Sirius: Who is Professor Trelawney?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: I'll take Misc for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: These are Crabbe and Goyle's first names.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: What are Vincent and Gregory?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Misc for 400.  
  
Dumbledore: These are all the Weasleys.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Who are Arthur, Molly, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, and Uncle Billius?  
  
Dumbledore: Say their full names. wicked grin  
  
Mr. Diggory Who are Arthur Weasley, Molly Weasley, William Weasley, Charles Weasley, Percival Weasley, Fredrick Weasley, George Weasley, Ronald Weasley, Virginia Weasley, and Uncle Billius Weasley?  
  
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, you ran out of time on that one.  
  
Mr. Diggory: grrrr..  
  
Dumbledore: Go again.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Whoarearthurweasleymollyweasleywilliamweas-  
  
Dumbledore: I mean choose again.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Misc for 500. boiling with anger  
  
Dumbledore: Parvati wore these color bangles to the Yule Ball.  
  
Sirius: What are gold?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Sirius: Misc for 700, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Percy sat on this animal, and then he jumped up because it had passed out on the chair.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Who is Errol.  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Misc for 800.  
  
Dumbledore: When told that Cedric had passed away, this was Mrs. Diggory's description.  
  
Mr. Diggory: crying again What is beyond tears sob  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Mr. Diggory: hic I'll take Misc for 900.  
  
Dumbledore: Name the four Head's of Houses, their colors, their founders, and where the founders were from.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Professor Sprout was head of Hufflepuff. The colors were yellow and black. The founder was Helga Hufflepuff from valley broad. Professor Flitwick is the Head of Ravenclaw. The colors are blue and bronze. The founder was Rowena Ravenclaw, from glen. Professor Snape is the head of Slytherin. The colors are green and silver. The founder was Salazar Slytherin, from fen. Professor McGonagall is the head of Gryffindor. The colors are scarlet and gold. The founder was Godric Gryffindor, from the wild moor.  
  
Dumbledore: Too late.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..  
  
bell rings  
  
Dumbledore: Well, looks like our time is up. Amos has improved to a marvelous 5400 points. Lucius Malfoy has 3350, Sirius has 7200, and he is in the lead. Now, don't change the channel, we'll be right back, on Jeopardy.  
  
commercials (I want to make them this time)  
  
Madame Rosemerta: Look, Harry Potter. It is Gilderoy Lockhart drinking a Pepsi.  
  
Harry: That's not a Pepsi! unzips it that's a Pepsi twist, baby. And that's not Gilderoy Lockhart! punches him and he collapses  
  
Harry: That's a cross dresser, baby. tries to rip off blue robes  
  
Lockhart: Harry, you are sick! kicks him in the face  
  
Harry: Fair enough passes out  
  
Next Commercial  
  
Mrs. Weasley: While I'm gone, do this dishes and the laundry, all right?  
  
Fred and George: All right.  
  
Scene: Fred and George are making ton tongue toffees. Now they pour vodka in Percy's mouthwash and run behind the door. Percy comes in, takes the vodka, and sputters. He spits it in the mirror  
  
Mirror: Oh, so now you think your good enough to spit in my face, eh?  
  
Scene: Fred and George run off laughing, and they are now setting booby- traps in the bathroom. Mrs. Weasley comes home.  
  
Mrs. Weasley: The dishes? The laundry?  
  
Fred and George: Mom, power conservation?  
  
Mrs. Weasley: You idiots! We don't use electricity!  
  
Fred and George: Oops.  
  
Commercials end 


	12. The End! The End of the End!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  
  
The infamous Ailsa note: This will be the last chapter. I am going to stop this fanfic for a couple of reasons: 1. I ran out of ideas. 2. It's getting too long. 3. The other characters aren't that fun to play in the game. 4. I got my first sob flame for review number 63 sob j/k, that wasn't a real reason. 5. I am losing interest in this.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, we are back on Jeopardy. Amos has improved to a marvelous 5400 points. Lucius Malfoy has 3350, Sirius has 7200, and he is in the lead Our subject for today is: The most recent American hit movie. The question is: What brand of water did Austin Powers drink so he could blend in with the Japanese room and piss in the fountain. You have 30 seconds. We'll be right back on Jeopardy.  
  
***************  
  
Draco: Been in an auto accident? We know how you feel. I am Draco H. Malfoy, and I'll be your lawyer. We have been successful in 91 percent of our cases.  
  
Pansy: I was in an auto accident, and I called Draco H. Malfoy. He managed to get my money back, and even decrease my insurance payment by double.  
  
Draco: Call me, Draco H. Malfoy at 1-800-488-The Law.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle: roll up sleeves We'll fight for you! (I am not responsible if you really call this number) ***************  
  
Madame Maxime: The truth is, most pads are designed for women that are a size 6. The truth is, we aren't all a size 6. That's why we have Kotex for women sizes 12 and over. Kotex pads are longer, wider, and the wings can fold over to protect your panties.  
  
Voice: Kotex fits. Period. ***************  
  
Dumbledore: Now, we are back on Jeopardy. Are question was: What brand of water did Austin Powers drink so he could blend in with the Japanese room and piss in the fountain. Let's see what our contestants put. Mr. Diggory? What did you put?  
  
Mr. Diggory: answer lights up What is Sparkletts?  
  
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, but that is incorrect. What did you wager?  
  
Mr. Diggory: flips paper over 5400.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, that takes you down to 0 galleons. Now, lets go to Mr. Malfoy. What did you put?  
  
Mr. Malfoy: flips paper over What is Aquafina?  
  
Dumbledore: Yes, that's absolutely right. And you wagered..?  
  
Mr. Malfoy: flips paper over again 3000.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, that takes you up to 6350 galleons!  
  
Mr. Malfoy: All right. After I was sacked in my second year, I didn't get any money!  
  
Dumbledore: Well, too bad for you. And now for everybody's champion, Sirius. Sirius, what did you happen to guess?  
  
Sirius: Board lights up What is Arrowhead.  
  
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, but that is incorrect. And you waggered.?  
  
Sirius: flips paper over 500.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, everybody, that takes Sirius to 6700! So he is champion again for the 2nd time!  
  
Audience: cheer  
  
Dumbledore: Thank you, thank you. See you next time on Jeopardy!  
  
****************** Well, this may or may not be the end. Well, if I do continue, it won't be for a LOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGG time. Actually, I am starting a new fiction so this Is the end. 


	13. Game 3 started

I thought I would never continue Jeopardy, and yet I put up a new one the week right after I ended the last one, saying I would never write one again. Well, I like Jeopardy.  
  
*****************  
  
Dumbledore: And now we are back on Jeopardy. Unfortunately, our champion Sirius couldn't come back to us, after one of my questions apparently quoted myself telling him to hide at Lupin's, so Sirius is on the run again. However, we have 3 new contestants. Our first one is Draco Malfoy!  
  
Draco Malfoy: Good evening, sir.  
  
Dumbledore: Tell us a little about yourself.  
  
Draco: I am a Slytherin seeker, and my friends are Crabbe and Goyle. I always taunt Potter and get him in trouble.  
  
Dumbledore: Thank you. Now, it is time for our next contestant, Remus Lupin! Tell us about yourself, Remus.  
  
Remus: Well, I was friends with Sirius Black and James Potter. I am a werewolf, and I taught Defense Against the Dark Arts for one year at Hogwarts.  
  
Dumbledore: Thank you, and our third and final contestant for today is Peeves the Poltergeist!  
  
Peeves: Hello,  
  
Dumbledore: I didn't want to ask this, but please, tell us about yourself.  
  
Peeves: I am the poltergeist who plays pranks and steals things from everybody in the school. Sometimes I help people, but only if it means I can do something bad to another person. My least favorite person in the entire world is Filch. I tried to get him once by sticking gum in his broom closet keyhole, and since he was a squib, he couldn't get it out but then loony loopy LUPIN had to use waddiwasi on me.  
  
Remus: grins  
  
Dumbledore: Well, now our categories for today are Muggle Television Shows, Who Am I, and The Harry Potter Movie.  
  
Draco: Great, now Harry Potter became a movie?  
  
Dumbledore: Yes. They just finished filming Chamber of Secrets. It is going to be out in mid-November.  
  
Draco: Does it have me?  
  
Dumbledore: Yes. It has all of us except Lupin.  
  
Lupin: frowns  
  
Dumbledore: Maybe not Peeves, either.  
  
Peeves: stops smiling  
  
Dumbledore: Let's start with Remus.  
  
Lupin: I'll take Who Am I for 100, please.  
  
Dumbledore: I say that I have big bones, but I am really a half giant.  
  
Lupin: Who is Madame Maxime?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: I'll take Who Am I for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: I am a Gryffindor chaser, and Lee Jordan said I was good looking in my first year.  
  
Draco: Who is Angelina Johnson?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: I'll take Who Am I for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: I am almost a Squib. My worst fear is Professor Snape, and with the help of Professor Lupin, I made a boggart look like him dressed in my grandma's clothes.  
  
Lupin: Who is Neville Longbottom?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: Who Am I for 600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: My grandparents were killed by Voldemort. I am in Harry's year, and am a Hufflepuff.  
  
Draco: Who is Susan Bones?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: Who am I for 700, please.  
  
Dumbledore: I was a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in Harry's second year. I released a bunch of Cornish Pixies once, and they attacked me.  
  
Lupin: Who is Professor Gilderoy Lockhart?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: Who am I for 800, please.  
  
Dumbledore: I am a teacher at Hogwarts. My least favorite colleague is Professor Sybill Trelawney. My favorite student is Miss Hermione Granger.  
  
Draco: Doesn't that qualify under every teacher but Snape?  
  
Dumbledore: Maybe, but this one REALLY hates Trelawney.  
  
Lupin: Who is Professor Minerva McGonagall?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: I'll take Who Am I for 1000, please.  
  
Dumbledore: I clean the Hogwarts Kitchens. I think that House Elves don't have a right to be happy, and I don't like butterbeer. House Elves don't have a right to drink butterbeer.  
  
Lupin: Who is Winky?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Peeves: Who is Dobby?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
silence  
  
Dumbledore: The correct answer was, Who was Kinko  
  
Draco: Kinko? Kinko was never mentioned!  
  
Dumbledore: Kinko was still a character. Remus, you start again.  
  
Lupin: I'll take Harry Potter Movie for 100.  
  
Dumbledore: This character plays Draco Malfoy. His girlfriend recently got beat up by his crazed fans. I'm not a Tom Felton fan, I only know it because everyone talked about it in some chat room  
  
Draco: Wow. He sounds like me.  
  
Peeves: Who is Tom Felton?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Peeves: I'll take Harry Potter Movie for 300.  
  
Dumbledore: The baby Harry Potter wore this shirt when his parents died.  
  
Lupin: What is Blues Clues?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: What in the world would somebody wear that for?  
  
Dumbledore: shrugs  
  
Lupin: I'll take Harry Potter movie for 400.  
  
Dumbledore: Unlike Rowling's interview that said James was actually a Chaser, the movie made James Potter this player on the Quidditch Team.  
  
Lupin: What is a Seeker?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: Who the hell is Rowling?  
  
Lupin: shrugs  
  
Dumbledore: Sirius said that she is a Muggle Reporter who can guess our future right.  
  
Draco: Creepy.  
  
Lupin: Sirius was on this show, too?  
  
Dumbledore: Yes.  
  
Lupin: Harry Potter Movie for 500, please.  
  
Dumbledore: The director, Christopher Columbus, had a daughter portraying this girl in the Harry Potter movie.  
  
Draco: Christopher Columbus? Somebody named their son Christopher when his last name was Columbus? That is absurd!  
  
Peeves: Who is Susan Bones?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Peeves: I'll take Movie for 700.  
  
Dumbledore: Warwick Davis, an actor, played two characters. The first one was Griphook the goblin. This is the second one.  
  
Draco: Who is Professor Flitwick?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: I'll take Movie for 900.  
  
Dumbledore: Instead of meeting this person at Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, Harry met him at Hogwarts.  
  
Lupin's buzzer lights up  
  
Lupin: Hey, I didn't squeeze the buzzer!  
  
Dumbledore: Time out on that answer!  
  
Lupin: But-but I didn't squeeze the buzzer!  
  
Dumbledore: Oh, what rubbish. Who else could have?  
  
Peeves snickers  
  
Dumbledore: Lupin, go again.  
  
Lupin: Muggle TV for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Pheoebe, Ross.  
  
Draco: What is Friends?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: Muggle TV for 300, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Maya, Jack, Finch, Elliot, Nina.  
  
Peeves: What is Just Shoot Me?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Peeves: I'll take Muggle TV for 400.  
  
Dumbledore: Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge, Maggie.  
  
Draco: What are the Simpsons?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: I'll take Muggle TV for 500.  
  
Dumbledore: Al, Peggy, Kelly, Bud.  
  
Peeves: What is King of the Hill?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Lupin: What is Married with Children?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: I'll take Muggle TV for 700.  
  
Dumbledore: And the answer is.Daily Double!  
  
Lupin: I'll wager 1000.  
  
Dumbledore: Fry, Bender, Lila, Amy.  
  
Lupin: What.is.Futurama?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct!  
  
Audience: applaud  
  
Lupin: Whew! Muggle TV for 900, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Matt, Simon, Lucy, Mary, Ruthie, Eric, Annie.  
  
Peeves: What is American Idol?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Draco: What is 7th Heaven?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: I'll take Muggle TV for 1100, please.  
  
bell rings  
  
Dumbledore: Looks like our time is up! Draco is in the lead with 3000, Lupin is following with 2300, and Peeves is in the back with negative 1500. Don't change the channel, we'll be right back!  
  
*Commercials*  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Well, we have a bit more food than we wanted. After all, it is starting to rot. All I remember was I told my husband, Arthur, to get Floo Powder and-  
  
Harry: And he gets clam chowder?  
  
Mrs. Weasley: That's right.  
  
Fred: Look mom, the rotten clam chowder is scaring the garden gnomes away!  
  
camera shows the entire room, full of clam chowder. Flies are buzzing around the room  
  
Harry: Look, Mrs. Weasley. This is Sprint PCS. It is clearer, and has less static, unlike Cellular phones.  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Thank you.  
  
*next commercial*  
  
Binky (Lavender's dead rabbit): Look! Those kids are giving out Trix to those surfers. If I become a surfer, I'll get some Trix! puts on surfer shorts and starts surfing  
  
Parvati: Look at him!  
  
Colin: He's good!  
  
Ginny: Let's give him some Trix!  
  
Binky: Trix! All that colorful fruity Trix will be mine! slips and falls of board, doing a bellyflop  
  
Parvati, Colin, and Ginny: That's the rabbit! Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!  
  
Binky: I should have known. sighs 


	14. Muggle Singers, Famous Authors, and Harr...

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, today we are back on Jeopardy! Draco is in the lead with 3000, Lupin is following with 2300, and Peeves is in the back with negative 1500. Now, the categories for today are Famous Authors, Muggle Music, and Harry Potter Book 5. We'll start today with Peeves.  
  
Peeves: I'll take Famous Authors for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This author won the 1998 newberry honor award. Her book, Ella Enchanted, is about the tale of Cinderella, with exciting twists, and everything goes wrong.  
  
Lupin: Who is Gail Carson Levine?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: I'll take Famous author's for 300, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This author wrote the following books: Matilda, The Witches, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, James and the Giant Peach, the BFG, and Danny, the Champion of the World.  
  
Lupin: Who is Roald Dahl?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: Famous Authors for 500, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This author wrote A Walk To Remember.  
  
Draco: Who is Nicholas Sparks?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: I'll take Famous Authors for 600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: And the answer is.Daily Double!  
  
Draco: I'd wager 2000.  
  
Dumbledore: All right. This author wrote Wayside School is Falling Down, Sideways Stories from Wayside School, The Boy Who Lost His Face, and the year 2000 award winner, Holes.  
  
Draco: pauses for 8 seconds Who.is.. Louis Sachar?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct!  
  
audience applaud  
  
Draco: All right! I am beating one of my former teachers!  
  
Lupin: sigh  
  
Draco: Famous Authors for 800, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This author writes many animals stories. One of his most favored ones was Babe: The Gallant Pig. It had been made into a movie.  
  
Peeves: Who is Charles Dickens?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
silence  
  
Dumbledore: The correct answer was, Who was Dick King-Smith.  
  
Peeves: oily voice Why, your headship, sir, I meant to say that.  
  
Dumbledore: Sorry Peeves, but you still don't get credit for it. Peeves, you chose.  
  
Peeves: Famous Authors for 1000, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This author wrote The Joy Luck Club, it is about 3 generations of women with problems in their life.  
  
Draco: I wonder if they changed the name to Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Sounds pretty close.  
  
Peeves: Nah.  
  
Lupin: Who is Amy (Fell, was it? I forgot, some Chinese woman, but Fell doesn't sound Chinese. I dunno. I should have been able to answer my own Jeopardy Questions, but this book is famous, lol.)  
  
Dumbledore: Corrrect.  
  
Lupin: I'll take Famous Authors for 1100.  
  
Dumbledore: This woman wrote the Harry Potter books.  
  
silence  
  
Dumbledore: Oh, come on! Didn't I just tell you before?  
  
Draco: I forgot.  
  
Lupin: Me too.  
  
Peeves: grabs Draco's nose GOT YOUR CONK!  
  
Draco: Ow!  
  
Dumbledore: Peeves, stop that. Come on, the author of Harry Potter!  
  
longer silence  
  
Dumbledore: sigh The correct answer was J. Rowling.  
  
Contestants: Oh yeah.  
  
Draco: I thought there was a K though.  
  
Dumbledore: Only her pen name, her real name doesn't have it. Her name is really just Joanne Rowling. I really like her books.  
  
Draco: Really? Who would want to read about their own lives from the view of that Half-blood Potter? That's absurd!  
  
Dumbledore: Draco, you chose the next question.  
  
Draco: Harry Potter Books 5-7 for 100, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This is assumed to be the title of the 5th book.  
  
Draco: What is Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: Book 5-7 for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This very well loved Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is coming back.  
  
Draco's buzzer rings  
  
Draco: Hey! I didn't squeeze my buzzer! Seriously! I didn't! Somebody did something!  
  
Dumbledore: You buzz, you Duzz.  
  
Lupin: Duzz?  
  
Dumbledore: That's short for Dumbledore's Ultimate Zealous and Zesty question making.  
  
Contestants: ???  
  
Dumbledore: In other words, I made it up because I couldn't think of a word that rhymes with buzz, so in short, Draco has to make a question. But by my rambling, he apparently ran out of time. The answer was Remus Lupin.  
  
Draco: Grrr.  
  
Peeves: snickers, he had squeezed the buzzer  
  
Draco: I'll take book 5-7 for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: According to J.K. Rowling in an interview, this character will finally find romance in book 7, and perhaps he will have a happy ending.  
  
Draco: A he.hm.  
  
Lupin: Who is Sirius?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Draco: Who is Draco?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Peeves: Who is Hagrid?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
silence  
  
Dumbledore: The correct answer was, Who was Snape.  
  
Contestants: burst out laughing  
  
Draco: Professor Snape, that's a good one!  
  
Lupin: Like he'd ever find romance!  
  
Dumbledore: It's true. Rowling said so in an interview.  
  
laughter stops  
  
Draco: No!  
  
Lupin: Nasty, man!  
  
Peeves: Apey Snapey has a romance. crackle  
  
Dumbledore: Chill out, what ch'oo yelling for? It's probably going to be a new character.  
  
Lupin: Thank goodness. deep breaths  
  
Dumbledore: Probably the female Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Arabella.  
  
Lupin: choke  
  
Peeves: Wasn't she that Gryffindor.  
  
Lupin: Not Lily's friend Arabella! That's just wrong. That's sick! That's-  
  
Dumbledore: shrugs We don't know who it will be. Now, it is Peeves turn.  
  
Peeves: Books 5-7 for 600.  
  
Dumbledore: From what we know, this MAY be the title of book 6, but chances are it will change.  
  
Lupin: What is Harry Potter and the Green Flame Torch?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: Books 5-7 for 700, please.  
  
Dumbledore: From what is known from the earlier books, Harry will meet these 3 characters.  
  
Draco: Who are Mundungus Fletcher, Remus Lupin, and Arabella Figg?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Peeves: Wasn't Mundungus the man that cursed Arthur Weasley 2 years ago?  
  
Dumbledore: Yes. Arthur mentioned him in Harry's second year.  
  
Draco: I'll take Muggle Music for 200.  
  
Dumbledore: After Britney Spears lost most of her fame, this singer is sponsoring Pepsi instead.  
  
Lupin: Who is Shakira?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: Muggle Music for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This singer/actress played the Green Fairy in Moulin Rouge. One of her hit songs is Can't Get You Out of My Head.  
  
Draco: Who is Kylie Monogue?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct. I thought you didn't like anything that deals with Muggles, Draco.  
  
Draco: She's so hot.drools Muggle Music for 500, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This singer died in a plane crash. She had the single "Rock The Boat"  
  
Peeves: Who is LCD? (or LTC or something like that)  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Lupin: Who was Alliyah?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: Muggle Music for 700, please.  
  
Dumbledore: And it looks like our time is up! Draco Malfoy is in the lead with 6100, Lupin is right behind with 4700, and Peeves holds the ending with negative 3200, a record in all of Jeopardy. Hope he can catch up. Don't change the channel, we'll be right back on Jeopardy!  
  
***Commercials***  
  
Harry: I, Harry, have the most delicious Grilled Bacon Cheeseburgers. They are grilled, moistened with barbecue sauce, with thick slices of cheese. At Harry-In-The-Box, we won't make it until you order it. rings a doorbell  
  
Ron Weasley steps out.  
  
Harry: Sir, would you like to try our Grilled Bacon Cheeseburgers?  
  
Ron: Sure. takes one This is delicious.  
  
Harry: What's your name?  
  
Ron: Ronald Weasley?  
  
Harry: Really?  
  
Ron: Yeah.  
  
Harry: Our Grilled Bacon Cheeseburgers are so good, even Ronald Weasley likes them.  
  
**Next Commercial**  
  
Scene: Neville is eating.  
  
Radio: Now, in the next few seconds, call us and tell the name of the man who shot Alexander Hamilton in a duel, and you'll win 10,000 dollars.  
  
Neville: looks at the bullet used and the painting that says: A. Burr. He picks up the phone  
  
Voice: If you can tell us who shot Alexander Hamilton in the next few seconds, you'll win 10,000 dollars.  
  
Neville: A-ar' Burr! (Aaron Burr)  
  
Voice: Sorry, we can't hear you.  
  
Neville: Hol' on, lemme get su' mil'. Milk carton is empty  
  
Voice: Sorry, your time is up.  
  
Neville: cries in rage  
  
Different Voice: GOT MILK?  
  
Authors Note*-I usually leave it random. The most favorite character usually wins, which makes me sad, cause I am the only one who likes Percy, but he lost 2 games ago. runs off crying eyes out Poor Percy never won. Why does everyone hate Percy anyway? I mean, it took me a while reading book 2 to be convinced he was straight, but still, I really like the character. 


	15. Our Golly British Ways, and Greek Mythol...

Disclaimer: I don't know what this is for. I only make it because others do. But I do not own Harry Potter.  
  
Note: Sorry I hadn't posted in so long. First I got hooked on Neopets, then I had so much stuff, and I got so busy, and then my favorite chat room opened again, and, well, it got pretty messed up. I can't believe how I got hooked on Neopets. Of all the things to get hooked on! Some website that deals with fake money and is like a living Monopoly! Except with battling! Okay, enough about the evil addictions to Neopets.  
  
Dumbledore: Draco Malfoy is in the lead with 6100, Lupin is right behind with 4700, and Peeves holds the ending with negative 3200, a record in all of Jeopardy.  
  
Peeves: grumbles  
  
Dumbledore: Well, our Categories for today are Facts About the Malfoys, Greek Mythology, and Our Jolly British Ways. We will start with Peeves.  
  
Draco: Facts About the Malfoys? Wait a minute-  
  
Peeves: I'll take Our Jolly British Ways for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: To Americans, Fish and Chips are actually called this.  
  
Lupin: What are fried fish and french fries?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: I'll take British Ways for 300.  
  
Dumbledore: This is our nation's favorite sport.  
  
Draco: What is Quidditch?  
  
Dumbledore: I mean the Muggle one.  
  
Lupin: What is football? (soccer)  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: I'll take British ways for 500, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Mary Tudor was the Queen of this place.  
  
Draco: What is Scotland?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: I'll take British Ways for 600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Translate this sentence to American: See that bonnie wee lass!  
  
Contestants: scratch heads  
  
Dumbledore: What's the matter with you? You are all British!  
  
Draco: We don't know how to translate it into American. That's the problem.  
  
Lupin and Peeves: nod  
  
Dumbledore: Well, it translated to 'Look at the pretty little girl' (okay, in earlier chapters, you may have gotten confused. I do not live in Britain. I was only born there. I left when I was 12 weeks old, and my parents are not British. They are Asian. My name is Scottish. Ailsa is named after Ailsa Craig.)  
  
Contestants: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. (to Dumbledore's answer, not mine)  
  
Draco: British ways for 800, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This is the hair color for most Irish people.  
  
Draco: What is red?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Peeves: scratches heads I wonder if the Weasleys are Irish.  
  
Lupin: Nah.  
  
Draco: ignoring the other two I'll take British ways for 900.  
  
Dumbledore: Scottish people enjoy drinking. They drink the most on this night and sleep in the streets.  
  
Lupin: What is Saturday?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Peeves: snickers Well, when McGonagall meet the Headmaster to bring ickle Harry to Pivet Drive, people sure weren't drunk lying on the streets.  
  
Draco, Lupin, and Dumbledore: stare  
  
Peeves: Sorry, just had to say that.  
  
Lupin: I'll take British ways for 1100, please.  
  
Dumbledore: English people have either these two hair colors. Dark hair is Scottish, while red is Irish.  
  
Draco: What is light brown and blonde.  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: Well, I sure am English, all right.  
  
Lupin: Rowling had light hair, but she was from Scotland.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, I said English people, not Scottish people or Irish. You get some rare hair colors occasionally.  
  
Draco: I'll take British Ways for 1300.  
  
Dumbledore: This Muggle British sport is more like American football than the others.  
  
Draco: What is soccer?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Lupin: What is rugby?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Lupin: I'll take Greek Mythology for 100, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This is the king of the Greek gods.  
  
Peeves: Who is Ra?  
  
Dumbledore: No. That is Egyptian.  
  
Draco: Who is Zeus?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: Greek Mythology for 200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: These are the names of all 12 Gods sitting on the thrones.  
  
Peeves: Who are Demeter, Bob, Zeus, Dionysus, Hera, Athena, Apollo, Aphrodite, Jennifer, Artemis, Hades, and Poseidon?  
  
Dumbledore: Close, but no.  
  
Draco: How in the world did you get Bob and Jennifer?  
  
Peeves: shrugs  
  
Draco: Who are Demeter, Zeus, Dionysus, Hera, Athena, Artemis, Aphrodite, Hephastus, Hades, Poseidon, and Ares?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: Amazing. I thought I wouldn't get it. I'll take Greek Mythology for 400, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This is the name of the wood nymph that got turned into a tree because Apollo wanted to marry her, but she hated him.  
  
Draco: Who is Daphne?  
  
Lupin: Daphne is the name of the girl on Scooby Doo!  
  
Dumbledore: ignores Lupin's comment That's correct.  
  
Draco: I'll take Greek Mythology for 600, please.  
  
Dumbledore: And the answer is: Daily Double!  
  
Draco: I'll wager 2000.  
  
Dumbledore: All right, listen closely. 'This was Hercules' second task.'  
  
Draco: long pause What is to get the golden belt of the Amazon Queen Hippolyte?  
  
Dumbledore: Oh, no!  
  
Audience: groan  
  
Dumbledore: The answer was, 'What was the task of destroying the Hydra.' You got the 10th task and the 2nd mixed up there.  
  
Draco: Darn!  
  
Dumbledore: We feel your pain.  
  
Draco: Greek Mythology for 800, please.  
  
Dumbledore: This man killed his father and married his mother.  
  
Lupin: Who is Oedipus?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct. As you know, the term 'Oedipus Complex' was named after him.  
  
Draco: Erm, we didn't know that.  
  
Dumbledore: How could you not know the term Oedipus Complex?  
  
Draco: shrug how do you know it?  
  
Dumbledore: I read the dictionary for fun!  
  
Contestants: start to laugh  
  
Lupin: I'll take Greek Mythology for 900, please.  
  
Dumbledore: Helen was the one who started the Trojan War. This is the name of her twin sister, who killed her own husband who killed his own daughter, and whose sister and brother helped avenge the death of her father by killing their mother.  
  
Contestants: ???  
  
Dumbledore: Just Helen's twin sister then.  
  
Draco: What is Clymnestra?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: I'll take Greek Mythology for 1000, please.  
  
Dumbledore: According to the myths, this man shot Achilles through the ankle, his only vulnerable spot after his mother, who was related to Poseidon, held him by the ankle and dipped him into a river that made him invisible.  
  
Peeves: Who was R2D2?  
  
Dumbledore: No.  
  
Draco: Who was Paris?  
  
Dumbledore: Correct.  
  
Draco: I'll take Greek Mythology for 1200, please.  
  
Dumbledore: According to the Greek myths, these are the traits of King Midas.  
  
Lupin's buzzer lights up  
  
Lupin: Hey! Who pressed my buzzer?  
  
Dumbledore: You did.  
  
Lupin: I did not!  
  
Peeves snickers  
  
Dumbledore: Well, the correct answer were the Golden Touch and Donkey Ears.  
  
Lupin: Hey, I remember. Except instead of donkey ears they said As-  
  
Dumbledore: That's enough, thank you. We don't want any swearing. We need to keep this rated PG 'cause that is what our fanfic writer made it, or she'll kill us off.  
  
Draco: gasp She's evil!  
  
Dumbledore: You're right. She's a dictator.  
  
Peeves: She's Emperor Nero!  
  
Lupin: She's the Wicked Witch of the West!  
  
Draco: She's Queen Mary!  
  
Dumbledore: She's Tituba!  
  
Cameraman: She's the Queen of Hearts!  
  
Everyone: stare  
  
Cameraman: You know, from Alice in Wonderland?  
  
Everyone: continues staring  
  
Dumbledore: When were you in this conversation, anyway?  
  
Cameraman: shrugs I was just helping.  
  
Dumbledore: But you aren't even supposed to be in this.  
  
Cameraman: I already came in a few chapters ago. You know, when I corrected you on the Peter Pan thing?  
  
Dumbledore: No, I already put the memory in the Pensieve.  
  
Cameraman: sigh Never mind. Forget it.  
  
bell rings  
  
Dumbledore: Noooooooo! We're out of time! We haven't uncovered the secrets to the Malfoys yet!  
  
Draco: Yes!  
  
Peeves: It's all the cameraman's fault!  
  
Dumbledore: All right, we'll just put that for the Malfoy question as our final question for the entire round, which will be next. Because Peeves has a negative 4500, so he can not play on our last round, and is disqualified.  
  
Peeves: pout  
  
Dumbledore: Well, it is down to Draco and Lupin. Draco is in the lead with 6100, while Lupin is almost equal to him with 5700. Don't miss the finals, we will be right back on Jeopardy!  
  
******Commercials******  
  
Hermione: Hermione,  
  
Ginny: And Ginny here, to tell you the do and don'ts for back to school.  
  
Hermione: Do go to Ross. Don't go ANYWHERE else.  
  
Ginny: Check out our new robes!  
  
Hermione: Harry Potter's ULTRA hot.  
  
Harry: Thanks, girls.  
  
Ginny and Hermione: So go to Ross and get low prices! Wooooooo!  
  
***Next Commercial***  
  
Oliver: walks up to a door and rings the bell  
  
Fleur steps out  
  
Oliver: hands her a bouquet of roses Hi, I'm Oliver.  
  
Fleur: I'm Fleur.  
  
Oliver: So, we're going for dinner?  
  
Fleur: All right. starts to step out and sees Oliver's car. It is shaped like a chicken  
  
Fleur: I'm a vegetarian. goes back into house and slams the door shut  
  
Oliver: I-I-I-it's free range chicken.  
  
*****Commercials end*******  
  
My note: Okay, this time, I REALLY MEAN it is going to end in the next chapter. I swear. looks at audience You don't believe me, do you? Well, you will NEVER find a chapter after 16. So be afraid. Be VERY afraid. Haha. Muahaha. MUAHAHAHAHA! 


	16. THE FINALE and Credits

Disclaimer: Harry Potter no own.  
  
YAY! This is the final chapter. After this I am going to sit back, relax and go to gulp HIGH SCHOOL! I'm scared! jumps behind desk  
  
Back to the story. I updated it in one day! takes out paper And now I have to email the link to Cho Chang913, and thank the people who put my on their favorites list at the end of this.  
  
Dumbledore: Draco is in the lead with 6100, while Lupin is almost equal to him with 5700. They are tied pretty close to eachother. All right, our question for today is: Who does Draco REALLY have a crush on?  
  
Draco: Nooooooooooooooo!  
  
Dumbledore: You have 30 seconds. Good luck!  
  
*****commercials start***** (early commercials for suspense)  
  
Trelawney: looks into crystal ball I see you on a date with a very cute guy. But something will go wrong. Something will go TERRIBLY wrong.  
  
Lavender: What is it?  
  
Trelawney: Well, it's red. And is kinda puffy. crystal ball shows Lavender with acne right on the middle of her forehead like a Hindu  
  
Lavender: Is there anything I can do?  
  
Trelawney: Ah, yes. With the new Phisoderm Clear Swab. You will snap the tip and zap the little red demon. Ah, yes, the future is clear now.  
  
Voice: Phisoderm Acne Clear Swabs. Your future is clear.  
  
****next commercial****  
  
Hermione: washing her hair in the shower and looking at Herbal Essence shampoo You know, we're great together.  
  
Ron: brushes his teeth Ha ha!  
  
Hermione: But I found something new.  
  
Ron: Hmm?  
  
Hermione: Something more EXCITING!  
  
Ron: spits toothpaste in the mirror  
  
Hermione: lathering up her hair Yes. Oh yes. Yes! YES! YES! YES!!!!!  
  
Ron: No, no, no! buries head in pillow  
  
****Commercials End****  
  
Dumbledore: Now we are back on Jeopardy. Draco and Lupin are in a hard race, and best of all, WE GET TO FIND OUT DRACO'S CRUSH!  
  
Draco: groans and hits his forehead  
  
Dumbledore: Now, our question was 'Who does Draco have a crush on.' We'll go with Draco first. Draco, you put-?  
  
Draco's stand lights up  
  
Answer: Who is Pansy Parkinson.  
  
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, that's incorrect.  
  
Draco: groans  
  
Lupin: You didn't get your own crush?  
  
Dumbledore: Aw, Draco, are you being a naughty boy? Are you trying to hide something from us?  
  
Draco: whimpers  
  
Dumbledore: And how much do you wager?  
  
Answer: 6100.  
  
Draco: I didn't know what the question was.  
  
Dumbledore: Oh, you risked it all. Now, it is time for Lupin. Lupin, what was your answer?  
  
Answer: Who was Hermione Granger?  
  
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, that is incorrect also. How much did you wager?  
  
Sign: 3000.  
  
Dumbledore: Congradulations! You still have 2700 galleons! Lupin is our new winner!  
  
Lupin: What was the answer?  
  
Dumbledore: Well, the correct answer was Professor Trelawney!  
  
Lupin: Sybil? How in the world did-  
  
Draco: Don't ask.  
  
Lupin: Now that is just sick. That is demented. That can cause an annihilation! I mean, she is older than I am! She is like, in her late 60's or early 70's! She went to school with Minerva! Her skin is all saggy!  
  
Dumbledore: She's in the audience right now, you know.  
  
Lupin: Oh. tries to smile you have, erm, good taste Draco. But still, what made you like her?  
  
Draco: She seems to want Harry dead just as much as I do.  
  
Lupin: I see.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, the author of this fanfic did tell us to be afraid. I guess this is what we should have been prepared for. But Lupin, what are you going to do with your money?  
  
Lupin: I am going to buy some new dress robes, and a habitat for all my interesting creatures I keep at home! And hire a butler! And give Sirius some food! And get myself some medication! And take a vacation!  
  
Dumbledore: Well, congratulations! turns to audience See you, never again by this author, Ailsa, on Jeopardy!!!!!!!  
  
******************End of Fanfic FOREVER!**************** ~Credits~  
  
Executive Producers: Ailsa and Ailsa Incorporations  
  
Director: Ailsa  
  
Host: Dumbledore  
  
Contestants: Remus Lupin, Peeves, and Draco Malfoy.  
  
Past Contestants: Sirius Black, Percy Weasley, Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Lucius Malfoy, and Amos Diggory.  
  
Filming: Ailsa (and Cameraman that helped with Peter Pan and the Queen of Hearts)  
  
Credits: Ailsa  
  
Color: Ailsa  
  
Writers: Ailsa  
  
Idea Helping Reviewers: Endrigo Luna- Thanks! The Where in the World is Minerva McGonagall (Igor Karkaroff) really helped!  
  
Special Thanks to: Mike Meyers, Britney Spears, Mandy Moore, The Beatles, JK Rowling, Tom Felton, Tom Felton's girlfriend, Louis Sachar, Roald Dahl, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Robert E. Lee, The Simpsons, Frank L. Baum, Dick King-Smith, and Elizabeth George Speare for using these celebrity Muggles in my Muggle questions.  
  
Inspired by reviewers: oh crap, how many are there Endrigo Luna, Bookworm2000, Weekend Soul, no name, Potter_Ring_Wars, Albus DumbledoreIII, qwert, Karima, Marguerite, defenderofthebunnies, ChoChang913, Weaslygurl4, animegirl-mika, Mihoshe, Oliverwoodlover, angered.fairy.the.CoRuPt, Anita-chan, Giesbrecht, Minnowbrookskittles, JaimeC. Jc, lil becca, Princess Potter, Kindaqueasy, me no, not me, somebody anonymus named me blinking person, Malfoy Malfoy, FlyinHigh, liltrick89, tasty-ham-sandwich girl, anonymus, cente, Jan McNeville, roctnazi, Julephenia, goggle girl, black shimmer, Jvjjr, Hazelmist, Medrelina The Weird, rach, Rubi Granger, Calvin, spidergirl05, sailorsol, Draco1499, Daniel's girl, ladedaladedaladeda the name goes on forever, seduceastranger, SlytherinS, PartlyFoxyGrandma, Meisako, Kaylin, rissa, Archangela, The Great Kelly The Great, apostrophe, and sailor moirae, who gave me my first review.  
  
Whew, that took a while. I didn't thank Tsuki Tatsu because I think he/she and Endrigo Luna are the same person. If not, I am sorry. But together, they/he/she reviewed every chapter.  
  
Another reward for people who reviewed more than twice: Medrelina The Weird, Endrigo Luna, Hazelmist, Julephenia, ChoChang913, cente, and Weekend Soul.  
  
Authors note: I gotta say this, do you know how LONG it took to put up all those people who reviewed my fanfic! I had to go through 8 whole pages! And maximize and minimize the computer screen. And feel free to email me for no reason, but say you are from fanfiction.net first. Or I'll delete it, thinking it is an advertisement.  
  
  
  
  
  
*~*IN THE LOVING MEMORY OF IGOR KARKAROFF. MAY YOU REST IN PEACE.*~*  
  
Born: Exact date unknown  
  
Died: August 27th 2002  
  
He was the headmaster of Durmstrang. He was a Death Eater. He was a coward. He was killed by his fellow death eaters, but he makes us clutch our bellies and laugh our heads off now that he is dead, cause we almost forgot about him. 


End file.
